Raging.

You dare judge me? Whore, you've judge me wrong. I can do so much better than little boys. I can get an arranged marriage to a filthy rich man that own acres of land with a well known name. Your family's broke as shit. But it's not about the money. It's about the kind of background and person you are and you sure as hell don't meet my standards. Always saying the North are "commies" and shit this shit that. You lie, cheat, manipulate yet you still retain a high horse from mooching off of others. And that you twist events/words. How could I ever use the word love towards you. And in an Asian language, which makes it even more tender and high value. I've only said it once to a male romantically and meant it. And he broke my heart. Making me even more hurt and piss when the subject of love is brought up. Much less a lie that I had used it once more since 3 years ago. Better yet, just keep my fucken name outta every one of your people's mouths. If I ever see you again whether it be in front of adults or your mother. I will give you a piece of my mind.

Lovely lies

Funny how some people can voice their opinion of "oh, you could do so much better" when clearly that person is happy with whoever and aren't being physically, mentally, or emotionally abused. Ever thought that that person knows they can do better? YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT HOE.
And to create lies to try to up-sell your value? Oh gawd, I really wish I hadn't delete those text messages you sent me before. I knew they would come in handy later on, but I had hope you wouldn't be that type of asshole.
First off, why the hell would I ever say those three words to you? The only times I've said those things romantically and meant it were to Steven - my mentor, bestfriend, and lover of 5 years and someone else that I held special. I've never said it to anyone else except maybe Alex but only "you too"s. You've tried to woo me countless shit of times. And right after breaking up with one of my girlfriend. Saying "oh, me and Alena, what do you think?". Just because others may support it didn't mean we were going to date, ever. You may have thrown the word love around like air towards me but I have never used the word like and you in the same sentence. Neverless, say it in Vietnamese! Fcken raging. I would never in a million years say those three words to you. I'm still hurt from my ex of 5 years, what makes you think I'd throw those words at a cretin like you?

I'm so fucken pissed. Wanna tear that punk's dick in two!

Sometimes.

The turmoil causes me to shake and shiver in rage. It makes me wonder why and how. To retort, I resort to inflicting emotional pain because I know physical would not compare to the mental torture I endure. At times, I just want to break down in front of you. But I'm unable to because I'm too weak to reveal that. Sometimes, I just wanna end it all.

A dream.

Hay xem la giac mo. Nhu tinh yeu cua hai chung minh la mot chim bao. 

Asian Parents' SIL tips.

-Don't push it. If it's a no, it's a no.
-Always greet parents when you first see them with a smile; DON'T EVER put a grumpy face in front of them or else you'll be viewed as a dick even if it's not towards them but the fact that you dare do it in their presence.
-Be cautious of your behavior and how you present matters.

Bleh.

Got work in 3 or so hours and still have notecards left to complete for history but my back's killin' me and the weather is so nice. Maybe I should go out for a while for a bike ride? I dunno. There's so much left to do. :(