Post emotions.

I was a corpse. Without strength in my legs and a numbing feelings shooting from my elbow to my fingertips, I almost got hit by a car. I took the ACTs with only three hours of sleep, then went home to continue crying for another two hours. I cried so much that my mother thought I was going crazy or possessed. She began to beat me to stop me from crying but I only cried harder. Not from the pain of her hitting me, but from my foolishness. From the pain ripping my heart apart. Each night I cried myself to sleep, waking up with red puffy eyes and a pale face. Who was this person in front of me? If I died then, would he even care? If it had not been for my mother pulling me back out of nowhere, I would've been hit and died.

I have no appetite, surviving on liquids to sustain myself. I've dropped to 95 LB. Waiting by the phone every second of the day, for a text only to be disappointed with a cold blunt reply. Taking up whatever shifts I can without rest to occupy myself yet I still find my thoughts lingering back to him, where my heart has been thrown out and broken to pieces.

Why am I like this? Why am I hopelessly in love with a person that doesn't care nor love me anymore. Why am I hanging on? Why am I destroying myself when I know that won't bring him back?

Simple. Because I love him. I want to give it one more chance before letting go. I want to show him my sincerity, the love I've been hesitant to reveal all this time. If he still does not love me and does not want me then I will understand. I will let go and forget the memories I've cherished, the past I once loved. The person that was once my world will die in my heart and mind. I will not appear in front of him ever again. And I too will fade and die in his life. But I don't want to let go. I still love him. I still love you.

If you're there.

I'm sorry.

For the stressful environment. You're destined with a lost child no older than yourself but I promise you, you will be my number one. You are the birth of two people's love but you will only have mine from now on. Forgive me, because you will not have him in your life. I'm at a loss of actions. I don't want you to be known if you will be rejected. I love you.

VG

Fuck them all. Play to your hearts content. Have an affair with it for all I care. I'm done.

My thoughts on Amanda Todd:

Amanda Todd was foolish for flashing her boobs, ever heard of stalkers and pedophiles? I understand you made a mistake and people are being dicks about it. Take a stand, fight if you have to! I've been physically bullied for my lack of English, well look at me now! I'm in AP English and every other kind of AP classes! Everybody gets bullied sometime in their lives, it's your choice to endure or break it. Tell the authorities, if nothing gets solved then fight and bring your opponent down with you.

&&To everybody else. Don't pretend to give a shit. You didn't know her so don't act as if you're mourning for her. She died and got her 15 minutes of fame. Get over it and move on. Why aren't you taking a stand for others who are actually getting bullied in front of your eyes? Or are they "too ugly" and their deaths aren't a fad yet?  Call me a bitch, or wish for me to get raped but the magistrate lies in your own heart.

Medical Jobs

Registered Nurse(RN)
Requirements: Bachelor’s degree, an Associates degree, or a diploma from an approved nursing program.More and more hospitals are requiring that new hires have at least a BSN degree.
Education: Associate's
Duties:

• Record patients' medical histories and symptoms
• Give patients medicines and treatments
• Set up plans for patients’ care or contribute to existing plans
• Observe patients and record the observations
• Consult with doctors and other healthcare professionals
• Operate and monitor medical equipment
• Help perform diagnostic tests and analyze results
• Teach patients and their families how to manage their illnesses or injuries
• Explain what to do at home after treatment

$64.5K

Medical and Clinical Laboratory TechnologistsRequirements: Needs a bachelor's degree and must pass an exam. 

Education: bachelor’s degree in medical laboratory technology. Prospective medical laboratory technicians must complete an associate’s degree program.
Duties:

• Analyze body fluids such as blood, urine, and tissue samples to determine normal or abnormal findings
• Collect and study blood samples for use in transfusions by identifying the number of cells, the cell morphology or the blood group, blood type, and compatibility with other blood types
• Operate sophisticated laboratory equipment such as microscopes and cell counters
• Use automated equipment and computerized instruments capable of performing a number of tests at the same time
• Log data from medical tests and enter results into a patient’s medical record
• Discuss results and findings of laboratory tests and procedures with physicians
• Supervise or train medical laboratory technicians

$46.5K

Pharmacists
Requirements: have to taken postsecondary courses such as chemistry, biology, and anatomy. Applicants need at least 2 to 3 years of undergraduate study; for some programs, applicants must have a bachelor’s degree. For most programs, applicants also must take the Pharmacy College Admissions Test (PCAT).

Pharm.D. programs usually take 4 years to finish. require applicants to have taken postsecondary courses such as chemistry, biology, and anatomy. Applicants need at least 2 to 3 years of undergraduate study; for some programs, applicants must have a bachelor’s degree. For most programs, applicants also must take the Pharmacy College Admissions Test (PCAT).

Education: Doctoral or professional

Duties:

• Fill prescriptions, verifying instructions from physicians on the proper amounts of medication to give to patients
• Check whether the prescription will interact negatively with other drugs that a patient is taking or conditions the patient has
• Instruct patients on how and when to take a prescribed medicine
• Advise patients on potential side effects they may experience from taking the medicine
• Advise patients about general health topics, such as diet, exercise, and managing stress, and on other issues, such as what equipment or supplies would be best for a health problem
• Complete insurance forms and work with insurance companies to be sure that patients get the medicines they need
• Oversee the work of pharmacy technicians and pharmacists in training (interns)
• Keep records and do other administrative tasks
• Teach other healthcare practitioners about proper medication therapies for patients

$111.5K

Physician Assistant
Requirements:have a bachelor’s degree. Then, they must complete an accredited educational program for physician assistants. That usually takes at least 2 years of full-time study and typically leads to a master’s degree. All states require physician assistants be licensed.
Education: Master's
Duties: practice medicine under the direction of physicians and surgeons. They are formally trained to examine patients, diagnose injuries and illnesses, and provide treatment.

$86K

Desired Family Members.

I plan on adopting dogs in the future and these are the breeds I'm considering. If anybody knows a reputable person that are selling any of these breeds please message me (except the pit bull because I am willing to adopt from pounds/shelters which are full of homeless doggies). I plan on living alone, maybe with my future spouse but I do not plan on having kids so that should not be an issue with these type of breeds however I will be having felines and other small canines as part of the family. I am looking to adopt anywhere from the ages of 7 weeks - 2 years.
Note: I am wanting a guard dog but he/she has be able to "socialize" with other people and dogs. By socialize I mean be able to stay calm and not attack, kill, chase them on sight.

Pit bull

Pros: Territorial. Well with children. OK in apartments.
Cons: Prone to hip dysplasia, hereditary cataracts, allergies to grass and congenital heart disease. Average shedder. 















Tamaskan

Pros: Balanced temperament
Cons: Not a good guard dog because of friendliness. Stubborn.






Czech Wolfdog

Pros: Learns easily. Does not bark often so traditional training may take some time. Healthy; prone to hip problems.
Cons: Should live in a climate that's not too hot.Temperamental. Sheds often and heavily. 







Japanese Akita (NOT AMERICAN)

Pros: "First class guard dog". OK in apartments.
Cons: Prone to thyroid, hip, immune, and skin health problems.










Malinois(Belgian Shepard)

Pros: Territorial, obedient. OK in apartments. Has only minor health problems such as skin allergies, eye problems, excessive shyness, excessive aggressiveness and occasionally hip dysplasia and elbow dysplasia. Light shedder. 
Cons: Prefers cool climate. Becomes destructive if bored. Not well with non-canine animals.