Maybe one day I'll look back and laugh at what happened perhaps we might even be able to be friends again.
Do you know why I chose Khuntoria as the idol couple? Because we're both a minority in this vast nation and sometimes we feel like nobody understands. Started off as strangers, slowly becoming the best of friends. Just as Nichkhun had said, "I always will be by your side" you had promise to stay by my side as long as I allow it. Khun had said Victoria reminded him of his mother and you would always complain whenever I'd mother you. They had ended and I always feared we would end too. I guess I don't have to worry about that anymore.
Mrs. K, you were always so sweet to me, always making sure I felt comfortable and welcome. I became close with you, and I will always appreciate the kindness you've show me. I feel guilty whenever I see you, guilty that I'm hiding such a secret from you. A secret that would break your heart and see me in a different light. You're like family to me, everyone from you, Lucy, Trey, Max, Hailey, and Mr. K. I want to remain friends with all of you even if things didn't go the way everybody thought it would, I just hope it doesn't put you in an uncomfortable position.
I know I can move on and reclaim my independence. Each day I'm growing and learning something new. The memories were so sweet and I often think back to them. Each time I do the sense of familiarity fades and the sweetness turns bland. But each day brings something new and I should take from that. I'll meet the one someday. Right now I'm just working to obtain money and trying hard to succeed in life. It's difficult physically, emotionally, and mentally. I don't have someone to rest my head upon. I'm working 10 hour shifts daily on average to help pay household debts and bills, just paid a $400 bill and I'm left pennyless. I can't afford a boyfriend at the moment but what I need is a best friend. Someone to accept me and be there and I will be there for them as well.
