Daddie's Day.

Woke up around 8:45ish, kept slamming the snooze button until 9:05. Slugged around a bit and gossiped with Ami while getting ready for work. Couldn't make it in time to drop by the post office to pick up my package so I had to save that for when I went on break. Work was slow steady. The first beginning half of happy hour was just a rush nonstop. We were getting our ass kicked and Tim was getting pretty frustrated and upset about a 10 minute order for drinks but hey everybody was trying their best and trying to not get scolded. The second half, the sky was just black as midnight and soon the wind started blowing pretty hard. I was like ah sheet, so I had to run out and pull up my windows before it started raining. People still came in and ordered but it was slower. It started pouring and the wind\ was blowing so hard that the flag poles started bending and the flags blew away. The carhops still had to go out and take orders obviously. Oh my goodness, for the first order that it started pouring. The straws got blew away and I had to hug the drinks so they don't get blown off the tray. I had to stand out there and run the old couple's credit card on the machine. It was literal hell. I came back in with dripping hair, and my clothes were soaked to the point that even my undergarments were wet too. Started sneezing and stuff, and Michelle and Kels were like oh goodness, I feel like you're gonna call in sick tomorrow. Michelle ran out to her car and got coats and jackets for everyone because well, we were freezing and wet hehe. I tried to dry off with the fan but ended up getting cold. Had to stay there for a couple of hours in the soppy, dripping attire until my shift ended, aiyah.

Well anyways, I had a feeling there was a little spark or whatever with Alex but I didn't push it since I figured hey I'm probably just overreacting and being overconfidence plus we homies. I feel as though he's not really into me again because he had just ended things with Nadia and we don't really talk that much nor do anything for him to like me again outta nowhere. I just try to be there for him and vice versa.

Things with Jae are going down hill. We hardly talk and just kinda drift apart now. He says he's stuck but I don't understand what there's to be stuck about. We don't say anything to each other in the morning and at night we don't do anything either. Just stare at each other while doing our own little thing whether it be writing in my diary or just watching a movie. I guess you could say things are simmering and growing a bit cold like soup ahaha. It's whatever. I really hope he goes to FU though because I don't want the pressure of having to end up together so that his parents and himself view time spent at KU or KSU as a waste of time just for a particular person. I don't want that responsibility nor do I want to be used as a scapegoat. I say follow your heart, your dreams, and not put them aside in fear of losing someone because if things were meant to be then they're meant to be.

Hey, it's daddie's day today. Did you realize that? Are you having any thoughts? Or is it just like any other day to you just like it was for mother's day? Do you think of the moments you're missing out on or does the relief of not having others' know and not having the responsibility of having a little boy or girl call you daddy outweigh the moments of a child holding your hand, and giving you kisses? It's whatever, you're still just a kid.

I'm not interested in any guys at the moment. I just wanna take one day at a time and boys aren't a priority. I just wanna love myself, have fun, and create good memories as an adolescence. Too much unnecessary complications and pain is brought upon people by the term of "love" so why bother when an education and a job is still in the process of being achieved? I'll be a shoulder for others to lean on if needed but I don't want it to be a requirement because they hold a special title or position in my life. It turns into a drag and significant others are hella expensive ahaha. Booty calls are easier to deal with because well, you pay the price and it's good bye the next morning JK JK. I ain't like that.