Decided.

I've decided, I'm going back this year. I know I've stated that I don't want to go back and all but this trip is solely business. Not concerned about clothes shopping or anything really. Ami's going to get her papers done and we're both going to get our surgeries done as well. I'll probably get a haircut as well, thinking about getting a haircut like this so that I'll have bangs but have layers that are long. Staying there for a little over a month but I'll have to not strain my eyes for around 3-6 months to ensure recovery so that means way less blogging, facebook, youtube, and reading. Wonder how I'll cope with my college classes though? Sigh. Went to the doctor's office, and got swabbed again. Came out as negative but still feeling icky so I'm staying home for another day. Got so much make up work. Gah, I think the two jobs are getting to me already. Gonna have to quit one or the other sooner or later. Mama told dad about the gift that she found outside and he quickly assumed that it was from Corey. Why do they all think that? I guess they really ship him and me together haha. Jae's getting pretty anal about me leaving but I'm not sure why he's being rude about it rather than supportive. It's my body and if even my parents agree than I'm pretty sure it's not a radical, crazy thing. Calling me a surgery junkie too, like what? Why can't he just tell me that he's gonna miss me or give words of encouragement instead of saying things like fuck you and shit. He's a hard head, this one.

Dreamt that I was a necromancer, meaning that I could conjure and control spirits. I had to release two spirits, one was a young man with brown hair in his late 20s or so. Another one was a really young one, under 20 or so. I can't quite remember what was going on. Fast forward I was at the airport and they had all these 50 cent machines where they had pokemon plushies. I went crazy haha. Jenn, Crystal, Kat, and Elizabeth were getting their tickets to go back to Vietnam and said that they're gonna say with Jae's grandparent's house which makes no sense because his grandparents and family are all over here. I said suggested that why don't we stay at one of my aunt's hotels instead since there would be more room. Went and bought my ticket as well. Outside during this scene was dark and rainy, around 7-8PMish? I was also inside this huge mall or store, I think it use to be a JC Penny? They redid everything and had tunnels of water going around in circles and crisscrosses and there were was a fountain or sprinkler that went off like those ones you see at water parks. In the tunnels of water were piranhas. There were signs of do not enter but I went anyways because my curiosity overpowered me. There were small breaks where there was water so I had to jump over to the other side. The breaks were pretty wide and big so often times my foot would get caught or something because it got wet but I quickly took my foot out of the water in fear of it getting eaten by the piranhas. I made it towards the end then I suddenly got transported to this yellow place. A baseball game was going on. The field looks familiar, like it took place at the school I use to go to, Ridgeview. This asian guy, probably in his 30s, spoke khmer to me and I was like what. I also noticed that segregation went on. By the way people dressed I presumed that it was around 1980 or 90s but later when everyone dispersed and we went to an outhouse to shower, non co-ed for the matter but boys still came into the girl's.  I asked the coach or so what year it was and he wrote on the aluminum or I think it was since it was a dark silver/grey color that it was 1726. When I had gone to wash up, this big ol'e boy came in and started harassing me. Ugh. I was more irritated that he was bullying me rather than coming in on me while I was washing up.

Bring me all your dreams, you dreamer. Bring me all your heart's melodies, that I may wrap them in a blue cloud-cloth. Away from the too rough fingers of the world.

Nature's first green is gold. Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower. But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, so dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.

Sick and in sweats.