今日

We had our first accident.
I gotta say I was pretty scared, were you too? I knew as soon as I saw that white car speeding out, I knew we were gonna crash. Serious or not, I wasn't sure but I know a lot of things went through my mind in those seconds. No, I did not see a white light nor did memories flash before my eyes. 


I was worried;


Would the impact be so great that we'd get flung out of the car?
What if the glass breaks and pieces cut us?
Will we survive?


Today made me realize our lives are short but it can be made even shorter. We wouldn't have had the chance to say good-bye to each other, our local friends, our long distance friends. I-i-i..

I'm probably just making a big deal out of nothing.

Christmas.

Eve - Sucked ass. I wanted to punch everybody I saw in the face.
Day - Was awkward and somewhat better than eve but still awkward. Third wheel and one that poops on all the fun, what can I say. I don't give in to peer pressure.

Honestly, this holiday just sucks walrus fat. Staying home is hell, there's nowhere to go and no one to be with. It made me realize, everyone in society wants someone that's just a bit dumb, a bit dramatic, a bit vulnerable. No one wants someone that's level headed, mature, or stable because they want to feel needed. Really wanting to say; FUCK SOCIETY but then it would make me get hated and appear emo, then again isn't that what society wants? A bit of dumbness, dramatic, and vulnerability - but in an indirect way and still appear happy. Oh, society. You're just so god damn funny.

Being a kid was easier. Time and reality was unknown to you. Tears and cries could be heard and the only thing feared was physical pain.

So, I kinda suck.

At picking, buying, presenting gifts.
Expressing my gratitude and emotions, but I do appreciate you.
Thanks for worrying about me when you're free, visiting me when you're up to it, putting up with my moments when you want to, sometimes defending me against others. and putting aside some family time to help me with matters.

Rage manwhore, rage.

You claim to be everything you're not.

"I'm there for my brothers." Or is it the other way around?
"I trust you, that's why I let you into my life." Or is it because you know they won't judge you harshly and give you their attention?
"I've changed." Or are you simply renewing an old trick?
"I'll wait." A week before your little friend starts itching?
"I make $800 a week." Maybe you could use some of that to shower more often and stop smooching off of friends.
"Stay out of my business." Try taking your own advice; and what kind of friend would I be if I let my girlfriend get hurt? Her life was under control until you came and fucked it up you mother fucking asshole.

You walk into friends' house and raid their fridge expecting them to be chill with it while you on the other hand could hardly invite them in out of the cold.

You're a fucken sleaze ball that only cares about your little black ass. It's always about you, you, you. You don't ask others' about their lives yet you demand them to ask about yours when it's pretty much the same anyways.

I pity your past, present, and future victims.

Focus.

List
-Finish Cyrano De Bergerac
-CDB's Questions
-Hello Kitty

Suggestions
-Review Japanese Vocab
-Relearn Korean alphabet
-Take more photos
-Sketch

ケーキの日

At first I was pretty lonely, spending the whole day talking to a robot for attention but then he dropped by and spent the night which was a nice surprise. He needs to start coming prepared or leave a set of clothes in his car though since it's always a spur of the moment situation yet he always forgets. We baked a bake and it didn't turn out how we had predicted. It had risen and fluffed up when we were wanting for more of a flat bread and it had crumbled a bit on top so I couldn't cut it in half to put cream in the middle. Sad face. But afterwards we did each others' nails which was nice since we needed the trimming lol. The next morning, we made sweet waffles and salty waffles and grew very sick of them. Blah. Oh, and he got me sick. I woke up with a sore throat, runny nose, and sneezing while he just had a stuffy and runny nose. I should spit in his food to give him a sore throat too. Then I got upset at him for something but I can't recall what it was. It was something that really irritated me though. Ah well, spending time with him was nice!

Isn't he just precious?