Change.

You know what sucks? Change that you have no control over. He's slowly slipping away, his attention is diverted. I try and I confront him about it and he's like "what?". It's just total obliviousness. We exchange one or two text messages a day, we can't hold a conversation on facebook nor do we webcam. Where'd that part of the day where we placed aside at night to webcam and converse and catch up? When you think you've found someone worthy, someone different, someone who true - it just slips through your hands like water. I guess I shouldn't be surprised for what's coming soon.

Worked with BJ for the first time this morning and I gotta say, he's not a very awesome person to work with. It was slow throughout breakfast but we started getting rushes around 12ish but we really got slammed at 1:30PM all the way until 4:02PM. We didn't even get a break in between to restock or anything. We didn't have a real system anywhere because everybody just jumped in to fill any position that was vacant so there wasn't a steady flow of production. Chris smelled of weed today at work, he doesn't seem like that type of guy but that smell..it definitely was weed. I don't get it? Came home, pigged out, and chilled around. Watched a couple of Xuan Yuan episodes which were a real tear jerker. Chat with a few friends. Caught up with Britney. One of the people noticed this about me since they guessed that I was 18, which was real close since I tend to get a wide variety of somewhere around 14 - 22. I wonder, do my eyes really still retain a sense of innocence or does the sheen just cover it really well?

"There's still a bit of childish features in your appearance, while retaining a sense of maturity.
Your eyes have this sense of innocence in them, but the small bags under your eyes give them a definition of maturity since having them are related to stress or lack of sleep something older people tend to do. You do have normal sized eyes which tend to add more to the childish features related in anime and etc."

Falling in love.

When a girl falls in love, everything she experiences is puzzling and new. She's naive, pure, and honest. She falls for someone she thinks fits her perfectly but knows they can never truly be together - at least not forever. Dreaming of him, thinking of him at night in bed, and just wanting to be the perfect one for him. She gets restless, she glows, and she cries over silly matters that she thinks if her fault. She'll die for the one she loves without a second thought.
When a woman loves, she loves in secret. She harbors thoughts and emotions, careful not to get hurt. She is cynical, cautious, and tainted from the past's scars. She calculates the possibility of happiness and the consequences. She always wants to be with him, near him, and willing to kill anyone. When a girl falls in love she becomes the woman after heartbreak.

Worked 1PM - 6PM today. Bought loaves of bread early in the morning for breakfast. Tried the sausage toaster with egg whites. It really doesn't add much flavor or anything to it. Got invited by the girls to catch a movie, declined because I'm trying to save money and got invited by Alex to come over to party, declined because it was late. Been trolling this loser all day who texted me asking for a blowjob and to fuck. A turtle was in the middle of the street today on my way to work. I screeched to a stop and thought about getting out of my car to help the poor fellow to the other side but there was a car behind me so all I could do was serve and hope the car behind me doesn't hit the poor guy!

Double Shift.

Worked double shift. Brian is being a little dick as usual, hey don't be a creeper and expect to not be awkwarded out!

Colorado Trip

Michelle, Megan, Kayla, and I stayed in Estes Park of the time. On the first night, I spot 2 shooting stars and obviously I was too amazed to wish for anything. The night sky in the mountains were absolutely breath taking. You can't capture the image with a camera, only the naked eye and it is so beautiful compared to the night sky you see in the suburbs and cities. It's where true star gazers gaze. Hope I could see the Gemenid or Leonid shower sometime! On the second day, we hiked in the rain for 4 hours straight because we wanted to see how much was horse back riding and oh my god, we were all cold and soaked. Megan and I weren't very happy, not to mention we didn't want to get sick while on vacation. I finally learned how to play bullshit, Michael tried teaching me it while in Japan but his instructions did not make sense to me at all. Played strip bullshit and Michelle was the first one to loose, me second. Saw many hummingbirds and some even perched on my finger, an elk, deer, and a coyote. Hiked straight up Sheep's head on our last day and it was so difficult. Not that it was tiring - although yes it was tiring - but it was so steep that Kayla and I kept falling and slipping. Because of this trip we have all gotten closer to each other and find it awkward not sleeping together, hearing screams of "You touched my nipple!" ect. On our last day we arrived 3 minutes late from the 30 minute or hour cut off. Our flight takes off at 6:45AM and we got there at 6:18AM. They said the earliest flight they could get us on was on August 7th, which meant we had to sleep in the airport for 5 days! Oh hell no. What a bunch of bullshit. Therefore we had to rent a car and drive 14 hours to get home. Sigh. Stupid ass Denver airport.

Tres Day Back.

My bangs have been getting way too long and raggedy so I decided to snip away and give myself an either full front swept bangs or blunt bangs. It does make my face appear rounder and plumper than my old side bangs but it looks groomed and I appear younger too! Got called into work for night shift but it ended up pretty slow anyways so I got off early. I really like our new coffee flavors though! They are to kill for! Classic caramel mixed with original hazelnut reminds me of a pandan or egg custard flavor, yum yum! 

Dishes to try.

Dishes I wanna make for my future hubby. ^^

Jajangmyeon

Ddeobokki with rolled chicken breast

 Pad Thai

Ingredients:

Dry rice noodles

Shrimp

Chicken

Garlic

Ground chili paste 

Paprika

Scrambled egg

Sesame oil

For the pad thai sauce: 
3/4 cup of sugar
1/4 cup of tamarind concentrate plus 1 cup of warm water 
1/2 tsp of salt 
1 cup of warm water 
1/2 cup of fish sauce 

Garnishes: 
dry roasted, ground peanuts 
chives lime wedges