12032012

I have a lot of homework tonight and many assessments and tests towards the end of this week, sad face. As usual, that nostalgic feeling washed over me as I walked towards my car. Maybe it was the dark, cloudy sky that made me feel that way or because I was walking alone again. The emotion feels a bit like deja vu because that's how my past had been and I was fine with it, and I am now too but it just feels a bit empty. I guess I'm nearing the acceptance and bitter stage. There's still love buried underneath it all but I'm forced to let it die. I'll be okay. So, I set in my application for Japan. I hope I get accepted for the choosing so I can attend the meeting at North on Saturday. The competition is tight but I'm determined to secure a position for myself. I want - no. I need this. I need to get away, even if it means missing school and work. I need to get away from the daily routine that I call my life. I need to get away from the past and memories. It may not be what I imagined my next flight to be like, but it doesn't mean it's neccessarily bad. It doesn't have to be him by my side in the air, it doesn't have to be him sleeping next to me on the airplane. Who knows, I might find my next significant other sleeping next to me. I hope I'll see some of my Japanese pen-pals. A bit disappointed I won't see Daisuke-kun since he's in Kanto region since he's one of my close friends. Have so much make-up shit due LOL. Better get to it, will be continued soon.