There are many times when I want to cry, when I begin tearing up but I tell myself to be strong. To suppress and forget, yet it's so hard. There are so many things I want to say and do but only a few words slip out if any and all I can do is look at you yet not directly. As I grip to win this battle, my nails are digging into my palms as my fingers slowly slip and fail. It hurt. It hurt a lot. It still hurts. To hear those words from you, like taking a drink and splashing it into my face. I was pathetic though. Seeing me like this only makes you scoff and laugh.
I will not cry. I will not let these tears fall. I'll take a headache if I must but I will not cry anymore.
I don't know what to do, lose and flee or stay and stand my ground? Flee and try to forget although I may appear as a coward or stay and be brand as a loveless fool? Be reminded of the past each day and cope with each obstacle even though it's unnessecary. What to do?
I had a dream again last night, I don't think it was a nightmare though. I just died in a car accident, that's all.
