I was pretty pooped today as well but I had more sleep than yesterday. The time writing was alright, I just hate how I tend to always get a runny nose during them so I can't focus. No homework though except for a long term assignment in history. Woot! No work tonight either so it's pretty much a free night. ALG2 is so easy, I was yawning and falling asleep. The work load is pretty easy too. I tend to have around 70 problems each night but I only had 20 and I finished it in class within' 10 minutes. They're on chapter 6.1 while AAT was finishing 7.1. Damn. This is way too easy but AAT is too fast. I wished they had something in the middle or at least let me switch to a better AAT teacher but it's whatever. Crossing my fingers that I'll be able to take College Algebra or ALG3/AAT next year. It's the perfect to reclaim my status as honor roll and straight A student again! Took a friend to work since he had a meeting to attend. I was left in a store with make-up and clothes - bad combination. I went a bit overboard with shopping and I'm not even working that much anymore. Bad idea! Got myself some more sports bras, more lipstick, and hair accessories. Went out to eat with later on and it was actually pretty fun hanging out with him. It made me realize that I don't need to have a boyfriend and I shouldn't be afraid of getting another one - although not one anytime soon but in the future, because I deserve to be loved. I deserve to be happy. I'm young, beautiful, and have a wonderful personality. I just have to find someone who realizes that. I want to be with someone who loves me for who I am though, the real me so I'll lay it straight with him in the beginning. No masks, no lies, no hesitation - this is who I am, either accept me or stay friends && I'd prefer to start out as close friends before moving in any close contact with intimacy. Now, I don't have to worry about uncompleted assignments or what not. Time to DDR without worries!
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I don't understand and maybe I will never understand but I can draw conclusions, whether they be right or wrong. We're not even friends on Facebook nor communicate anymore yet you felt the need to block others and me. I don't mind because it wasn't like I could see anything before nor did I bother to snoop. Every time something concerning you popped up on my news feed from mutual friends I would always click "hide post" and "spam". I'm not trying to revive anything from the past, I just wanted to remain friends but it's okay. If you feel the need to hate me or dislike me for whatever, I'll understand - so you can move forward with your life and I with mine.
One major difference
between love and hate appears to be the fact that large parts of the cerebral
cortex – associated with judgment and reasoning – become de-activated during
love, whereas only a small area is deactivated in hate. Some people
end relationships for reasons that left resent and anger towards the other. Hate is the flip side of the coin of love.
People who have been hurt, people who have failed to meet their expectations
often look to the flip side, putting the love side down. Hating is easier than loving and missing someone knowing you
can never be with them again. As others have said talking to an ex can revive
old romantic feelings and memories that you do not want to resurface so not
talking to them altogether is the most effective strategy to cope. The only
difference between your emotions towards me and in the past is that he’s become
more rational and cold towards me. Those old memories pop up every now and then and they sting. Maybe
he tries to hate me because that allows him to move on forward in life or maybe
he doesn’t hate me deep down but the flashbacks hurt so it's easier to let go of me if he’s able to focus on what he
hates about me. Maybe he just doesn’t want to have
anything to do with me anymore so he doesn’t necessarily hate me. Perhaps he
probably just can't handle the memories so that being around me, or in
communication with me, would constantly remind him of me.
