Independence Day.

Got made fun of by Ashley because she saw Alex and I hanging out last night. Meh, it's whatever. We didn't do anything that we should be ashamed of nor do we have anything going on between us. Actually stayed until 6:00PM, my scheduled time to get off. Not a minute earlier but not dramatically later either. They were short staffed tonight and all of the people didn't want to be there. Personally I don't blame them but they shouldn't complain the whole time and have an attitude with each other because that just causes more tension and it doesn't help with the orders, tips, or customers. Had sort of a deja vu feeling. Last year during this time I really wanted to spend the holiday with him but couldn't. I was pretty upset but tried to make the best of it and couldn't really. I kept thinking if we could continue like this, getting upset when we couldn't be together but when we're together we feel suffocated-ish. It felt like a merry go round that you wanted to get off but at the same time not. Guess, I know what the outcome is now heh. When I came in after the fireworks around 10PM to 11PM, it wasn't crazy busy. It's more that the people who worked didn't know how to get their shit together and just were concerned about themselves and not just getting the orders out fast enough so that they can actually go home! I spent around an hour in there, making my food, other people's food, and trying to help them out. I even took out messed up drinks to customers in my regular clothes and they couldn't bitch at me because I was like, I don't know what's going on and I'm just trying to help out hehe. I looked like any other regular customer trying to help out. When I left it was pretty bad, everyone in the store was screaming at each other and customers were already ticked off. I was like ah shit, I better not go back inside and try to help. Better dash and let them sort it out themselves! Sigh. Poor Dani. 

Waiting for the fireworks to start.

Old memories.

Dreamt about his family last night. So I was lost in this dark neighborhood which is no surprise because his neighborhood is pretty dark and scary at night. I got out of my car and I stumbled upon their house? The whole family was home except him which wasn't a surprise because he's always out now a days, plus he's a rouge. So as I stumbled upon their house, his dad came out and greeted me very warmly and we began to talk a lot. That never happens, ever. His dad would always stay quiet and never speak a word to me. It's always his mom who talks to me and socializes. But yeah, his dad chatted and asked questions his mom usually asks me like how I've been, what are my future plans, and how much they really miss me. His sister was how she use to be with me, relaxed and friendly. She laid her head close to my lap on the couch while I stroke her hair. It was like how everything use to be. Again for the first time in forever, I felt like I belonged, as if I never left and that they still accepted me as part of their family. After a while, I was getting ready to leave and he came home with a male friend. He was stranger friendly, polite and distant as though he was avoiding me but I could tell that he kept noticing me because he would steal glances? His male friend seemed interested in me and kept trying to make a conversation and be a gentleman as I left. He reluctantly but also curiously followed behind? His dad seemed regretful in me leaving but told me to stay in touch. What does all of this mean? His dad never acted this way towards me in the past and I highly doubt anyone from his family would act like this towards me anymore. They all act distant and avoid me now a days. Why? They seemed to love me in the beginning, what happened since then? I'm still the same person. I'm still the one who helped clean up, wash dishes, carry grocery, and learned Laos. His family's rejection hurts more than his. But yeah, I get a bit teary when I think about it.

Woke up 5 minutes prior from my alarm clock. Got up and did my morning routine and cleaned my fan since it was getting a bit dusty. Got to work around 11:20, it was pretty steady throughout the whole day. Not sure if Mike has an interest in me or if I'm just overconfidence but he's pretty friendly towards me and he makes little cute hand gestures towards me. I'm not sure if I'm remembering his exact words but he said something about "it's always good because you're here" when I asked him how he's doing. He's pretty..old though? So maybe it's just me and he's just trying to be friendly and make friends. Got a $5 tip from my very first customer in the morning. Made my day. Later on got a $50 bill for a lady's total and my goal for the night was to make at least $50 in tips and I did but it's because I stayed back until 9:00PM so I pretty much worked a double shift in order to achieve my goal teehee. Alex came by my work and we walked around Wal-Mart and just chatted on the patio for a couple of hours. Drank a bit with him heh. It was pretty good though. It might be the reason I'm a bit tired so early on or it's because I worked so much today.

Midnight Snack.

Today's day shift was shitty because we had people who don't do shit. Pissed the hell outta me. I came up short today which made me go wth? Because I know I made tips god damn it. Bought $30 sushi at Hen House, complete rip off but I was just craving it so badly. Paid the phone bills, bought myself some facial masks for $40. It's so hard saving up, gah with all these bills and the desires for beauty products. Went over to Saige's for a girl's night. First thing before stepping into her house, I get bitten by her dog on the leg. Sigh. I thought I had enough doggy experience but that one experience of getting bitten by a complete stranger dog and I tried to pose no threat was an utter fail. Watched Pitch Perfect. When I heard the dog coming in, oh god I tried to climb onto the top bunk bed to save my life but I couldn't get my ass up haha but oh god I freaked out so badly because I didn't wanna get bitten again. It wasn't a gnaw or a nibble. It was a bite with a scar and blood! After the movie we all went out to Ihop and gossiped. Stayed there until 12:50AM-ish. Got dropped off at Saige's house and walked home from there. Yeah, it was pretty creepy walking home alone but it was close! It was just creepy and scary.

Selfishness.

Had a dream about Kimchi girl. So awkward. Did odd things together and I dreamt that I snuck around with this guy and did stuff with him. Omfg, it felt great. I don't know why there's so much sensation in a dream or why I'm having these dreams but omg, it felt so great. Woke up around 11AM but fell back asleep and ended up waking up around 2:00PM. Hehe, wonder why I slept so much when I had went to bed around 1:00AM which wasn't too late. Got my blonde parts lighten and Jenn got her hair ombre'd. Went shoppin' for a bit and came home, ate, and now it's time to go to bed.

Did some pondering and one thing I've come up with is, no parent wants their child to suffer but is willing to have other people's children suffer because of their kid. A mother wants to have a daughter-in-law who can bear emotional and mental burdens, is hard working, and has manners because she doesn't want her son to suffer or go hungry. She wants someone who her son can lean on and depend upon. With girls, a mother wants a wealthy, smart, man who is financially supportive and broad so their daughter can lean on him. The person's daughter or son could be slow, lazy, or have a really horrid temper but it's okay because it's their child. They only think of how their child could benefit from other people's children. Do they stop to think of what their child could bring to someone else's child? No. Because they'd rather have someone else's child suffer than their own flesh and blood. Someone's child could be abusive, an alcoholic, or a gambler; they don't care but god be damn if their son in law or daughter in law be less than perfect and submissive! Honestly tired of this shit. I know what I bring to the table so keep your tongue in and your mouth closed and think of what you can bring to the table. I will not settle for less than what I deserve and will not be captured or easily swoon by others who desire what I possess. I have the beauty, the brains, and the motivation. I may not have the resources but I have the motivation to learn and earn. Flattery and promises fall upon deaf ears. I have heard them time over time and I've become immune. Until one day, I meet someone will the brains, looks, and financial stability with a family who will welcome me with open arms and consider me as one of them, I'll stick to being alone and desired by everyone.

So, apparently I look like Apink's Eun Ji without my glasses?  I think the prettiest member is Na Eun and I would strive more to look like her. Here's a photo of the two members together though here. Although I'm satisfied with my appearance and the resemblance with Eun Ji. ^^

Could you tell my blonde parts are platinum instead of honey now?

A day out.

Woke up around 8:00AM because I dunno, natural alarm clock in the brain? Went back to sleep only to be woken up by my mom screaming, tried to ignore it and pretend to sleep some more but meh, it was difficult. Got up and got to work early since I didn't want to stay home. Work was slow as ever. I had this really bitchy customer who was pissed that I didn't have any change for a $20 bill. Woman, your bill is $2.75. You paid with $20.75. And to get piss off that I have to go inside to get change? All the other customers paid with $1s, where the fuck am I suppose to get a $5 or $10 bill? Out of my ass? Bitch, shut yo stinkaye tight lips and wait. I think we reached the late 200s or early 300s when I got off at 5:00PM. Went over to Wal-Mart to see if they had what I wanted and they didn't. Bought a pair of clothes to change into because I couldn't go home. Went over to Super Target to see if they had it and they didn't either. Bought a sweat shirt there and layered it over the clothes I got from Wal-Mart. I ended up looking pretty cute. Picked up Megan and headed back to Sonic to meet up and eat before heading to AMC30. Ordered myself some mozzarella sticks and popcorn chicken but I couldn't finish so I gave it to Stacey who was on break. Both Kelsey and Michelle had changed into dresses and looked all dolled up. We all sat outside on the patio and gossiped away about night shift noobs. The movie started at 4:55 and we were still chatting away until we realized it was 4:47, ha! Bought myself a brownie bite cake for $5 which was a total rip off. Saw the guy who hitted on me earlier in the week when Michelle, Megan, and I saw The Heat. He didn't come over but he disappeared for a while then I realized that he was walking near us, wiping down counters and just kind of slowly comin' our way when he was doing register earlier when I spotted him? I was too shy to say hi in fear he didn't recognize me or come off as a creeper. He made small talk with Kelsey and it pretty much ended there. He's probably being friendly haha. Oh well, I'll never know. Watched The Internship and honestly, it was pretty funny. Not a bad movie at all. Invited Kayla to go out to Applebees and we all kinda snacked a bit, everyone was full except Kayla since she hadn't ate. Got myself a virgin pina colada and the green bean crispers but I wasn't able to finish. Afterwards we split and I realized I had lost my keys so I freaked out and we headed back to AMC30 but they weren't there so I called Stacey up to see if they were there and oh my goodness, I cried tears of joy when I found them. Chatted a bit with this Chinese boy before he hit the hay. I swear, he's got the hots for me haha. Why are so many guys into making me theirs? I don't wanna be tied down or have any..what's the word? Restriction? I just like flirting and having fun. It's amazing how close I've become with my cowokers. I'm a whole lot closer with them than my school or childhood friends. Last year, I despised working and distance myself in order to show how much he meant to me but now work is my sanctuary. I've met some pretty awesome people because of work and learned a lot of life lessons. My face started to break out in certain areas so I decided it was time to slap on a face mask!

Slow Day.

Set my alarm to 9:00AM, ended up laying in bed until 9:30AM because I was just pooped outta my mind. Made it into work and just messed around with my poor Spanish pronunciation. It was slow all day but tips were better than yesterday. Got myself another sausage toaster again, wasn't as delish as yesterday's but still pretty good. I swear, I dunno what was in the one from yesterday. That was the bomb diggity! Didn't really go anywhere after work today like how I usually do. Went straight home, showered, watched some Braceface episodes with my little sister then ate. Started craving those brownie bites with the vanilla ice cream soooo mad, only place I knew where they had it was at AMC30 and Applebees but Applebees' is better and less expensive. Hitted up Jae to bring me some food even though I already ate because I dunno, just felt like snacking some more. He brought me over some nuggets and ice cream and left. Not sure if he had to leave because he had to or because my mom scared him, probably both teehee.