As a person.

I know where I stand in your life. I'll be sure not to mistaken where my role in your life is.

Abroad.

One of my dreams is to study abroad but of course I don't have that kind of money, nor does my family. I still have to worry about my own college and university funding and loans. Thing is, I really do want to study abroad before I reach the age of 26. I'm not even sure what field I'd be entering if I did study abroad. I mean, people go abroad to study in a field the country is 'known' for, right? I have two completely different desired careers. One of them is realistic and boring, the other completely; fantasy. The realistic one, I can complete at home but only with extreme determination and without swaying. My fantasy would cause me to jump up and leave, throwing everything familiar away, leaping into a pit of the unknown darkness. To acquire fame, I must invest into changing and hardships that doesn't guarantee happiness or success. To acquire stability, I must invest into studying for a pursuit that will produce a hefty income. I don't have a pretty face, the perfect body, acting skills, or a decent singing voice . I don't even like doing catwalks. How could I ever acquire the fantasy running through my immature mind? Within' reality, I am not clever therefore I must strive x3 hard for it. It's not impossible but it's near there. If I'm gonna just study abroad then I think the most I could handle would be 2 years although I'm more leaning towards 1 and 1.5 years if I don't get discovered.

Forever a maiden.

Because that's all I'll ever be. I'm returning to my past that was destined to be my future.

I'm tired.

Tired of these pointless arguments, tears, and resentment.
Why deal with so much shit when nothing good comes out of it? It just gets old and feelings grow cold. 

I had been independent. Didn't hang around anyone, and didn't care if I didn't see or speak to them for weeks. Yet, now I've become this person. Someone that is avoided and thrown excuses for fear of anger but not without the courage to become angry.

Mixed in a sea of pricking emotions, I'm letting go.

Nightmare.

Everything I despised,
Everything I feared,
Everything I avoided came true.

Should have stayed away, should have never cared.
Gonna make it work.
Not gonna care.
I'm letting go of you.