So good to be home.

I'm finally home! So happy to be back in my own bed and what not, even though it's back to working every day from morning till night lol. Excited for school to start, to be able to spend a few hours with the babe even though he has to work almost everyday once school starts, sad face. Here are a few photos of the last days in Oahu and the long awaited sky diving photos! 

Wanna go home.

Really want to go home. I don't enjoy working every day and having no social life but I miss my independence and not being tan all the time. Everybody seems to love Hawaii but I personally dislike it and don't wanna return. I guess you can say I hate it. I can't wait to return and to have school started just so I can get started with life and move along. Here I get all these complicated illnesses, I have no control over what I want to do or whatever. I never want to return even if it was by myself or with my family. Two more days, can't wait. 

Went clubbing the other night. So not my forte. So many god damn sluts and guys I do not want to attract. Got to see my first club fight too ha. Was so tired, don't think I'd go again. 

Went to sea life park, fed birds, swam with dolphins. End of day. 

Two more to go until I'm free. Hope my sanity survives. 

Jump.

I've been surprisingly waking up early lately by myself with no alarm or anyone. Been getting up around 5-6AM but then again I'm not getting the best sleep either . Went for a little adventure bright and early, then went to a pineapple plantation. Encountered a rude person behind the wind who automatically shut the window when it got to our turn without an explanation of word so we just left. Bought a few gifts. Got mistaken for Japanese and kept being spoken to in it. It was interesting. So far I've been able to communicate twice in Japanese to natives! Went back to the ala moana center to shop around. Went back home and tried this one sushi place since they finally had sea urchin! It was nasty. $7 for one small piece of rice, seaweed, and sea urchin on top. It was fishy but had a distinct taste and texture to it almost like oyster but worse. I am finally content with actually getting to try sea urchin but I am never ordering it again. Bleck! One of their specialty rolls ie. Dragon roll was $18. Wtf. I am never complaining about Kansas sushi price ever again lol. 

Traveling blues.

Nothing too new. Traveling around a bit. Bought gifts for family and went to a few attractions such as the iolani palace and china town. Makes me miss home. I feel pretty out of place but being brought up Asian I feel awkward and excluded. I miss my bed, my toilet, not sweating all the time, being able to walk around half naked without a care, AC. I miss my freedom of not having to rely on someone else. I guess it's ok. Don't have any real selfies, all are scenery. 

Falling at the seams.

Sometimes I feel at a lost. Im trying to invest, make things work but I don't feel appreciated, at least not how I use to. Late nights aren't as late as they once were, talks become silent sessions, hangouts becomes sitting together as time passes without a connection. Seek attention from others is a no no but to sit in solitude is insanity. I'm falling apart between the loving, attached partner desired and the spiteful, independent person I was in the past that kept me grinding. 

Relaxing a grump.

Nothing too new. Working as usual. Avoid getting called in on my one day off that consist of dates and errands lol. Finally got babe his massage. We went in early and got out around 15 minutes later than our scheduled time lol. Been stressed out the past few days over small things. I think it may be due to my lack of sleep and rest? But oh goodness, I was a real grump. Got my nails gelled today. I don't think the color goes well with my skin tone. I think I'll switch to either a midnight blue or purple next week or a nice pastel. Bright neon colors just make me look tan - something most of my clients go for while I go for colors that make me pale haha. Started packing the essentials, I'm so behind than I usually am haha. Started picking out hygiene products and a few cosmetics. Need to do laundry and start booking appointments before they're all gone! 

May the fourth be with you.

Headed to work as usual. Ended up working until closing instead of getting off at 1PM. Chilled around and ate corn with parkway butter which by the way is the bomb! So delish and savory sweet. Changed out from my black dress into more festive clothes and touched up on my make up then off to his house I went. Ate, took photos, finished up our movie then watched fireworks from the back of my car. Encountered a crazy lady which irked me. Sigh, stupid ass hoe. Think with your head for once and get your mind straight. 

But overall, today was a pretty okay July 4th and hopefully my baby had a nice birthday. 😚

If this was written earlier.

If I had been typing this earlier today I would be going on about how thankful I am with where my life is going and how unexpected situations became blessings in disguise and how the past feels like a dream but..I am typing this now. I don't feel the same as I did earlier. Earlier today at work I kept thinking how happy I am with life. How happy and secure I feel in my relationship but, I don't now. It doesn't have to do with my partner, but with myself. I have many enemies, or people who would rejoice at any misfortunes I may encounter. Anyone I encounter or get together will always associate with others I avoid and vice versa. It is something that bothers me and I know I have no control over others but their action in involving themselves with others really put a ding in my perspective of them. I guess what I'm saying is, I need to reevaluate myself, my position, and not be so quick to throw myself into matters that if it ends up not the way I predicted, I'll have the strength to recuperate.