Asking my siblings on who I should date.

Girl: 7 years old; Boy: 5 years old.

What if I 'got to know' a Chinese boy?
Girl: Shrugs.
Boy: I don't want you to uhh, play with one.

Korean?
Girl: I don't know.
Boy: No, because mom doesn't like Korean boys.

Vietnamese?
Girl: I would like him because he would know our language.
Boy: I wouldn't like it.
Me: Why?
Boy: Because I hate them.

Laos?
Girl: No.
Boy: No, because mom would freak out.

White?
Girl: Eh.
Boy: Uh, I wouldn't like it.

Oooooh, this made my night. :')

Their words.

Full of promises at first, empty in the end.

Expiration Date.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWLSC_82oDo

04.09.12 RIP
Had been working on it for months for that day.
Got a bit side-track with taking photos and recording so the last couple of months went unnoticed but still worked on it through out. Finished the night before the date but things just got fucked up. Was trying to decide whether or not to just trash it.

I thought you were different.

I know about your history and I don't understand why you have to lie because it doesn't change who you are in my eyes, it's fact that you do and continue is what distorts your image in my eyes.
You claim to not talk shit behind people's back, guess I'll prove you wrong when I have the evidence in my grasp.

You consider yourself to be trying to reach out but have you ever thought that your previous actions are what made you get rejected? Yeah, don't think others are dumb enough to blurt out the truth or play along with your mind games so shit isn't caused. I know how you've tried to gone after my other female friends, and I must laugh since from time to time you'd send me messages out of nowhere declaring your emotions for me, even when you knew I wasn't interested and had been taken.

Now you're calling me 'mentally disabled' for my actions, to mutual friends. How the hell is it retarded? Ever considered that I wanna be in solitude and didn't want to sugar-coat my reasons? Especially when you added acid to the reason as to why I was so fucken pissed off. Ever heard my enemy's friend is my enemy? That's what you are now. Sure, go right on ahead and hate on me. Delete, block, spread rumors for all I care.

You lie and lie. When we were first starting to get to know each other, you asked me out through facebook chat and I told you no because of my parents and you, quote, said, "Oh, they'll never find out. It'll just be between you and me." and I told you no. Afterwards, you dated my friend which I told you beforehand that if you did, there wouldn't be a chance for "us" because I just don't roll that way. Which I honestly find funny, because if your feelings were genuine you wouldn't have done that for what-so ever excuse. Add-on to the fact that MY PARENTS knew you and our parents knew each other, but you hadn't known who my parents were at the time.

Overall you were a good friend, a bit melodramatic with white lies but still a good friend. You did your fair share of paying, sometimes even more, conservative and friendly(although a bit too much at times). But with what you said, I've lost all respect for you. You've lost a friend, and gained an enemy. Now, I won't bash on you and reveal your history because you don't deserve that but if our situation comes to that. I won't hold back.

Response.

It's times like these that make me tremble with irritation.
It's times like these that make me wanna hit you upside the head.
It's times like these that make me realize why I broke it off.

These are the times that open up my eyes.

3am rage.

Fell asleep in rage, woke up in the middle of the night raging more than ever for an hour. Then fell asleep.
My anger's a funny thing.

note: my rage involves kicking blankets, grunting, muffled screams that sound like I'm being choked(at least to my mom), and huffs.

I've realized.

Trust no one, especially when they're after your heart.
Every petty lie they promise never matches up to your expectations never-less exceed if reaching the standards are even possible - for them. Their efforts appear as mount Everest in their eyes but in mine, they're nothing but ant hills.
Seems like if you want something done you gotta do it yourself by your own sweat and effort. Waste no spit on those.
Gonna buy my own shit, do my own shit, so don't bother producing shit with me.
We're over.

Omfg.

I don't like you, get that through your thick skull.
GO AWAY. 


Nothing but a bunch of worthless liars.

Bo.

Tao khong chiu may duoc nua roi.
CHIA TAY DI.
Nghi den may lam tao buc. 

Which is better?

Secretly and unknowingly loving someone or to have both parties open about their love?

When it's not acknowledged, when it ends there's the excuse that it wasn't to be because you hadn't take the initiative. The illusion of what-ifs.

Then when both parties separate because of change or disturbance, there's the pain that you tried your best but it just wasn't meant to be. The heartache of reality.

I'm Sorry.

3 years later.
I can finally see things from your point of view. I was going through an uncomfortable phase, the bitchy teeny weeny phase. I poured useless emotions upon you. I pushed you away often without reason, to see you care. I know why you broke up with me now. Why date a child that's thousands of miles away? One you've never met? Why waste your youth on a little girl you'll never meet?
It's a sad thought overall. I had devoted so much to you, but I had also grown and mature with you. I realized towards the end I became a bit harsh and I just wanted to apologize for that.
Now, it's not like I'm not over you because believe me, I am. It's more like I'm not over what we had been and what we could have been. I ponder once in a while over what it would be like if we had never gotten to that stage and that's when I break down because of the past you and the child-like me. When I refer back to you, I think of the sheltered Chinese boy with glasses that would be all about education and chess. Now, if I were to see you in the streets, we'd be strangers without a second glance. It's not that we hate each other, it's more like we don't care. Our paths had intersected, but the intersection's gone now. But you've change as well towards the end of our relationship. You grew assertive and avoided possible connections with me. You had that ambitiousness feelings of going out and getting social. We both change, possibly for the better or worst. Nobody will ever know.

Stress.

A person can only handle so much in one day.
From work, crying, and anger.

Raging.

You dare judge me? Whore, you've judge me wrong. I can do so much better than little boys. I can get an arranged marriage to a filthy rich man that own acres of land with a well known name. Your family's broke as shit. But it's not about the money. It's about the kind of background and person you are and you sure as hell don't meet my standards. Always saying the North are "commies" and shit this shit that. You lie, cheat, manipulate yet you still retain a high horse from mooching off of others. And that you twist events/words. How could I ever use the word love towards you. And in an Asian language, which makes it even more tender and high value. I've only said it once to a male romantically and meant it. And he broke my heart. Making me even more hurt and piss when the subject of love is brought up. Much less a lie that I had used it once more since 3 years ago. Better yet, just keep my fucken name outta every one of your people's mouths. If I ever see you again whether it be in front of adults or your mother. I will give you a piece of my mind.

Lovely lies

Funny how some people can voice their opinion of "oh, you could do so much better" when clearly that person is happy with whoever and aren't being physically, mentally, or emotionally abused. Ever thought that that person knows they can do better? YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT HOE.
And to create lies to try to up-sell your value? Oh gawd, I really wish I hadn't delete those text messages you sent me before. I knew they would come in handy later on, but I had hope you wouldn't be that type of asshole.
First off, why the hell would I ever say those three words to you? The only times I've said those things romantically and meant it were to Steven - my mentor, bestfriend, and lover of 5 years and someone else that I held special. I've never said it to anyone else except maybe Alex but only "you too"s. You've tried to woo me countless shit of times. And right after breaking up with one of my girlfriend. Saying "oh, me and Alena, what do you think?". Just because others may support it didn't mean we were going to date, ever. You may have thrown the word love around like air towards me but I have never used the word like and you in the same sentence. Neverless, say it in Vietnamese! Fcken raging. I would never in a million years say those three words to you. I'm still hurt from my ex of 5 years, what makes you think I'd throw those words at a cretin like you?

I'm so fucken pissed. Wanna tear that punk's dick in two!