Life and forgiveness.

Is so not going as I plan. It feels like people constantly keep taking away a piece of me when they require my time. I feel bad saying no but I need my alone time. I need time to relax and rest, I need time to focus and do my school work. I NEED ME TIME. I sound like an old fart but I just need some time away from others and focus because I'm slipping and I just can't grasp and pull myself up not to mention the pressure to go overseas. I honestly have no desire to return and it's not due to my desire of wanting to return with "the one". I just don't see anything that pulls my attention there. I have no friends and I don't do anything there, I'd rather be going to school or working. Everyone over there lives in a world of fantasy and it makes me cringe. My life, my reality is over here. I'm in no rush to get the procedure done. I will not put off any semesters or work time because I know if I take a break from school I will not be able to get back in the swing. I just want to graduate with my A.A. and transfer. Perhaps before transferring to either KU or UMKC I shall take a semester off for my surgery then. Seems like a good time because then there's a break between transferring schools.

Lately I've been really agitated and irritated lately, one part is most likely due to school work and pressure but, I think the other part is when I started over thinking a simple contact. I guess you're hurt by the words I said and that you've worked things out with her . I'm glad things worked out. I said things I use to expect out of you, but that's not my place anymore. It's your life, your decisions. I respect that. I don't want to admit but those words, that reaction - I saw a glimpse of the boy I fell in love with and even if it wasn't directed towards me I still saw a part of the that I loved and it made me smile, glad that he's still alive somewhere inside. Honestly, I'm pooped by all this - trying to out succeed you ordeal. It won't make the past come back, although I will end up with lots of money heh. It's not a race or a competition but I do wish the best for you. I'm not going to try to complete my schooling before you or obtain anything. I still hold certain grudges for your past behavior and I'd like to try to be acquaintances but I think that would cause too much of a shock to others and I don't want any pretense in trying to save face. Others will pick and have their remarks and I fear that one side or both may say something hurtful to save their image/self-esteem just as you and I do. We both want to save face, nobody wants to seem weak. I know you blocked me. I'm not sure why either. You're a difficult one to read now. You blocked me, unblocked, then reblocked. I'll never understand why because it always seemed like you didn't care. Anyways, I'm sorry things turned out this way. I hope we can be friends one day - without the false pretense and what not and worrying about others' thoughts of you and I. Take care bud.

Life so far.

Nothing too new. Trying to salvage my ass in trig, english is pretty sweet for the moment - except that I need to hurry up and finish my Affliction paper and turn it in, should start studying pretty soon for bio. Life is pretty much just life at the moment. Feel like I'm taking a back seat in my own life though? Looking up certain healthcare occupations and study abroad programs because I am determined to study abroad after I graduate from JCCC. I will go somewhere and do something with myself because I've always been a foreign learner.

Chapter 8: Introduction to Metabolism

8.1 An organism's metabolism transform energy and matter, subject to the laws of thermodynamics

Metabolism 
-All of an organism's chemical reactions
-Manages the resources of the cell
Metabolic pathways
-Molecules are changed in a series of steps
-Each step is catalyzed by an enzyme

Metabolic Pathways
Catabolic

• Breaks down complex molecules
• Release energy
• Downhill
• Cellular Respiration

Anabolic

• Build more complex molecules
• Absorbs energy
• Uphill
• Synthesis of proteins

Energy

• The capacity to cause change.
• Exists in various forms, some of which may be used to perform work

Ex:

-Kinetic

-Thermal(heat): random movement of atoms/molecules

-Light

1st Law of Thermodynamics: the energy of the universe is constant, cannot be created or destroyed - only transferred. *The principle of conservation of energy

2nd law of Thermodynamics: every energy transfer or transformation increases the entropy of the universe. *Causes more disorder/randomness and expansion of universe.

Entropy

-A measure of disorder or randomness

-Therefore every energy transformation makes the universe more disordered

-Increased entropy is sometimes obvious and sometimes not. Heat is often by product that increases entropy

Spontaneous process

• Occurs on its own
• Does not require the input of energy
• Must increase entropy of universe
• Is "energetically favorable"

Ex.

-Explosion

-Old car rusting

8.2 The free energy change of a reaction tell us whether or not the reaction occurs spontaneously 

• What is free energy?

-Portion of energy in a system available to perform work where temp and pressure are uniform(like in a living cell)

-Measure of a system's instability

• Free energy (G)

-Equilibrium will have the lowest possible G for that system ( a valley of free energy)

- Δ G = change in free energy(G)

• Process is only spontaneous + perform work when moving towards equilibrium.
• Systems never spontaneously move away from equilibrium.

Exergonic Reaction

-Energy outward

-Net release of (G)

-Spontaneous

-Downhill

Endergonic Reaction

-Inward

-Absorbs

-Stores this (G) in molecules

-Nonspon.

-Uphill

8.3 ATP powers cellular work by coupling exergonic reactions to endergonic reactions

• Cellular work

-Chemical: Ex. Biosynthesis

-Transport: Ex. Active Transport

-Mechanical: Ex. Movement

Energy coupling: Uses an exergonic reaction to drive an endergonic

                             ATP is the source of energy for most cellular processes

ATP Perform Work
-Hydrolysis
-Sometimes w/ phosphorylated intermediate

8.4 Enzymes speed up metabolic reactions by lowering energy barriers

Reactions

• Molecule needs to reach a contorted unstable state before a bond can change.
• Energy is required to reach the contorted state called transition state. This is activation energy-"energy required to start a reaction"

Enzymes

• Lower the activation energy barrier
• Does not "create" energy - to produce energy producing reaction
• Speed up reactions that would've occurred either way
• Are very specific - ie. they're proteins and have specific activation sites for specific func.

How it works

• Line up substrates correctly.
• Bending substrates toward transition site - ie. makes bonds easier to break, less energy needed.
• Provides nice microenvironment - ie. pH pockets.
• Participates in reaction - Temp. covalent bonds so the active site is the same from beginning to end of reaction.

Rate of Reaction

• Partially determined by substrate concen.
• Saturation means all active sites are busy so increasing substrate will not increase rate. Must increase enzyme concen, instead.

Effects on Enzyme Activity

• Optimal conditions
• Temp - ie. inc. temp inc. movement & activity until too hot then denatures.
• pH

Cofactors: nonprotein helpers - may be organic or inorganic

Coenzymes: an organic cofactor

Enzyme Inhibitions

• Irreversible if they bind to an enzyme via covalent bonds - ie. poison such as sarin & penicillin 
• Reversible if bound by weak bonds - ie. non/competitive inhibitors

8.5 Regulation of enzyme activity helps control metabolism

-Allosteric regulation: protein's func. is controlled by a regulatory molecule at a separate site

• May inhibit or stimulate activity
• Cooperativity: allosteric regulation where one substrate stimulates other active sites

-By time

• Inhibition or activation
• Multi enzyme complex where the product of one step is the substrate for another - ie. factory belt

-By Space

• In organelles
• In membranes

Feed-back inhibition: End product of a pathway acts as an off switch by inhibiting an early enzyme in the path

Careers & Classes Spring Semester

Obstetrician-Gynecologist
Reproductive Endocrinologist  
Genetic Counselor 
Certified Nurse Midwife
Physician Assistant - Medical
Dermatologist
CALC I 
(5)CR:12328 | MTWRF 8:00-8:50AM | CLB 205 | Theresa McChesney
Public Speaking
(3)CR:12695 | MWF 9:00-9:50AM | CC312 | Erin Ellsworth
Japanese II
(5)CR:12622 | MTWFR 10:00-10:50AM | GEB 281 | Kazuyo Rumbach
Honors COMP II
(3)CR:10124 | MWF 11:00-11:50AM | GEB 238 | Matt Schmeer

Completed:
(3)College Alg
(3)Honors COMP I
(4)Molecular Cell/Bio
(3)GOVT
(5)JAP I
(3)TRIG
= 21 Credits by Spring Semester 2015

Chapter 7: Membrane Structure and Function

Selective permeability: allows some substances to cross it more easily than others.

7.1 Cellular membranes are fluid mosaics of lipids and proteins

Membranes are composed of mostly lipids and proteins although carbs are an important factor as well.
Amiphipathic: has a hydrophobic and hydrophilic region.
Fluid mosaic model: membrane is fluid structure w/ various proteins embedded or attached to a bilayer of phospholipids.
Freeze fracture: splits a membrance along the middle of the bilayer for electron microscopy.
Cholesterol regulates the fluidity and temperature of membranes, "fluidity buffer"

Membrane Proteins
Integral: penetrate the hydrophobic interior of the lipid bilayer. The majority are transmembrane proteins which span the membrane.
-Hydrophobic regions of integral proteins consist of one or more stretches of nonpolar aa, usually coiled into alpha helices.
Some proteins have hydrophilic channels thru their center that allows for the passage of hydrophilic substances.
Peripheral: appendages loosely bound to the surface of the membrane.
Certain membrane proteins attach to fibers of the ECM to provide animals a stronger framework than just the plasma membrane.

*Carb covalently bond to proteins and lipids.
Glycoproteins on blood cells are markers for blood types: A,B,AB, O.

 7.2 Membrane structures results in selective permeability
Nonpolar molecules such as hydrocarbons, carbon dioxide, and oxygen are hydrophobic and can therefore dissolve in the lipid bilayer of the membrane and cross it easily without the aid of membrane proteins.
Polar molecules pass thru slowly.

Transport proteins
Cell membranes are permeable to specific ions and a variety of polar molecules. Hydrophilic substances can avoid contact with lipid bilayer by passing thru transport proteins that span the membrane.
Channel proteins function by having a "by pass" that certain molecules or atomic ions use thru the membrane.
Carrier proteins change their shape to fit/ship their passengers.

7.3 Passive transport is a diffusion of a substance across a membrane with no energy investment
Diffusion: movement of molecules to evenly spread out
Concentration gradient: evenly spread the concentration of substance. High > low, low > high = even
Passive transport: diffusion of substance across a biological membrane where cell does not have to expend energy to make it happen.

Osmosis: diffusion of free water across a selectively permeable membrane.
Tonicity: ability of surrounding solution to cause a cell to either gain or lose water.
Isotonic: water tonicity is same - no "net movement"
Hypertonic: cell will lose water - shrivel
Hypotonic: cell will gain water - burst
Osmoregulations: control of solute concentrations and water balance.

Plant
Turgor pressure: opposes further water uptake
Turgid:  - plump, juicy, firm. (Hypotonic environment)
Flaccid: limp (Isotonic)
Plasmolysis: wilt, die. (Hypertonic)

Facilitated diffusion: polar molecules and ions impeded by lipid bilayer diffuse passively with the help of transport proteins. (passive transport)

7.4 Active transport uses energy to move solutes against their gradients
Active transport: requires energy to pump solute across a membrane against its gradient. (carrier proteins)
Sodium potassium pump: 3Na+ out for every 2K+ in
Membrane potential: Energy source that affects the traffic of all charged substances across membrane
-Inside cell is (-) therefore cations are taken in and anions out.
Electrochemical gradient: chemical force(ion's concen. gradient) + electrical force(effect of membrane potential on ion's movement)
Proton pump: Fungi, plant, bacteria - pumping of H+ transfer (+) from cytoplasm to extracellular solution.

Cotransplant: Active transport driven by concen.

7.5 Bulk transport across the plasma membrane occurs by exocytosis and endocytosis
Exocytosis: Cell transport out via vesicles
Endocytosis: cell transport in via vesicles
-Phagocytosis: cellular eating
-Pinocytosis: cellular drinking
-Receptor mediated endocytosis(RME):take in cholesterol for membrane synthesis and synthesis of other steroids.
Low density lipoproteins(LDL): Cholesterol travels in blood consisting on one protein & lipids.

Final Draft of Letter

Linh Dieu Lam

Honors COMP I

Sam Bell

16 September 2014

An Old Flame’s Temptation

Dear X,

Time has passed, you and I have both become wrapped up in our own affairs – avoiding each other as much as possible until last Saturday at Old Settler’s, Johnson County’s annual festival which celebrates the pioneers who came to settle in the Louisiana Purchase. Later on that night a friend of mine, John, found me standing in line for a ride and we talked for a bit. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed you approaching. You sported the classic bangs with a chestnut hue, wearing a soft grey hoodie, off white cargo shorts, and the nerdy black glasses. Slowly, I noticed you casually coming closer and closer with a group of people until you were standing directly behind him so that there was no way I could miss your presence but I remained composed. If I appeared shocked or anything out of the ordinary it would seem like I still cared about you. It would have meant I lost, and you won. I felt a bit irked that you had the guts to face me when I should’ve felt indifference. You whooped, hollered, and laughed, loudly slapping Tony, another mutual friend of ours – but mostly yours, on his back.

I’m not deaf or blind. I knew you were there but I didn’t want to confront you or anything of the sort. I disregarded this event as an accidental run in because I didn’t want to get my hopes up and think it was some sort of sign that you were reaching out to me. By thinking in that and acting upon silly assumptions I would be the one who’d look pathetic. I would be deemed as an obsessive psycho who can’t get over my ex even after 2 years even though you’ve already moved on with another girl, and I with someone new. Then I heard things that made me waver - last night’s run in was on purpose. Why would you want me to acknowledge you? Weren’t you supposed to hate me? Why would you want to be on friendly terms again, out of the blue too? Then boom, the big surprise, you and the Horse-Face chick broke up which lead to the likelihood that you were feeling lonely and desperate for attention. Now, I wasn’t going to have any of that shit because I’m not about to become some kind of rebound chick, fuck that! Secretly, I did feel a bit smug though. I hated you and her. She’s a lying, manipulative witch who twisted and turns situations to victimize herself and influenced you to become an even bigger douche bag.

With the single label, you’re free to do whatever you want. You can rebuild friendships and hang out with whoever you desired. In a foolish second, I thought about reaching out to you but I don’t want to be used or tempted. Feelings from the past might resurface and I’m not sure how I’d cope. You’re not the same person so the effort would only be wasted and knowing you that would have fed your ego of being desirable. If you had tried to contact me earlier I would’ve been delighted. Simply delighted to the point I would profess my undying love and what not to prove my devotion but that’s not the case anymore. I’ve changed. I loved you, really loved you with all my heart and I may fall back into the same pattern if allowed but I don’t want to tie myself with someone who has no ambition for their future. You’re stilling egotistic, playing video games instead of getting a job, unmotivated about your academic status. You disappointed me, brushed your child and I aside for the sake of your own image.

I hope that you’ll change, not for me but for yourself. That you’ll become modest, learn the value of knowledge, education, and dedication. That one day, you’ll be a changed person who looks at the world differently and we can become friends once again.

Sincerely,

Y

Exam 1 Study Guide

1.4

• What is the difference between a theory and a hypothesis?

A theory is vague and broad, has undergone extensive testing and widely accepted to be true. Hypothesis is more specific, and is more of a proposal.
2

• Describe a atomic structure

Atomic structure is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. Protons and neutrons being around the same weight and is located near the nucleus while the electrons are relatively smaller and are located in the electron cloud.

• What is valence?

The outer shell of an electron.

• What is the difference between covalent and iconic bonds?

 Covalent bonds are electrons while iconic bonds donate electrons.

• What is the difference between polar and nonpolar bonds?

Nonpolar - electrons shared equally. Polar - one molecule has the electron the majority of the time.

• What are hydrogen bonds?

Weak bond between 2 molecules. Negative, has a strong dipole-dipole attraction.

3

• Describe the chemical structure of water

2 hydrogen atoms and 1 oxygen atom.

• How does the ability of water to form hydrogen bonds affect its properties?

When hydrogen bonds are stable - ice.

Less stable, break and reform - water.

Cold weather.

Finally wore autumn clothes since it was cold enough. Grey t-shirt, fleece jacket, scarf, jeans, and black combat boots. Wish I was able to do a OOTD lol. School was alright, have a lot of homework and studying to do. Ugh, it's finally kicking in. Work is slowing down so I'll be returning to Hy-Vee, just waiting for the hospital to call me back about my resume first so I know what to do. Ended up crying my eyes out on my way home from Starbucks so that was nice - not. I forgot my lesson of not caring so much about friends so I don't get fcked up in the end by them and their 'friendship'. Redid my nails as well so yay.

Molecular Bio

Molecules: Carbohydrates | Lipids | Proteins | Nuclear Acids
*Macromolecules

Enzymes: specialized macromolecules that speed up reactions.
Dehydration reaction: Monomers are connected thru the loss of a water molecules.
Hydrolysis: Polymer bonds are broken thru the addition of water molecules.
-Hydrogen from water molecule attaches to one monomer while -OH group attaches itself to the adjacent monomer.

Carbohydrates(Sugars)
Monosaccharides: simple sugars

• More complex sugars are constructed of this
• CxHx(2)Ox
• Consist of Carbonyl group and multiple -OH groups and depending on the Carbonyl group it is either an ketone or aldehyde.
• Generally ends in -ose
• Ranges from 3-7 carbons long. 
• In aqueous solution, 5-6 carbons tend to form rings.

Dissaccharide: Two monosaccharides joined by glycosidic linkage

*glycosidic linkage: covalent bond via dehydration reaction

Polysaccharides: macromolecules, monomers joined by a few hundred glycosidic linkages.
-Purpose:

• Storage material
• hydrolyzed as needed to provide sugar for cells
• Serve as building material for structures that protect the cell or the whole organism

Essay Aside.

All essay aside, I'd like to personally communicate to you.
I honestly tried my best to avoid you so that there wouldn't be any awkward tension for others and you. Plus I didn't want to see you, see things that would irritate me, and over think unnecessary things. In the beginning when you were about 5 feet away and still in the middle of a group of people, I considered it a coincident since you had came with John and was probably just keeping close so you guys don't lose each other in the crowd or had some kind of plan afterwards but then I realized you were closer. You were standing directly behind John so that there was no way I could've missed your presence. You whooped, laughed, and loudly slapped Tony on the back. I guess a funny joke was being told. I shrugged it off and remained normal. I didn't want to bring attention to anyone or create a scene.
And then I heard that you actually wanted me to acknowledge you. Why? I thought you still disliked me so wouldn't that have made you felt uncomfortable? Or were you trying to feed your ego. Then again, I can't trust any source of information. One time I heard that you got upset when I was bad mouthed then I tried to rekindle. Backlash. You obviously did not want to have any contact with me, even stated that if I wanted to ask anything I should ask you instead of believing others. Whaaat? Total burn. so yeah. I won't believe anything unless it comes straight from your mouth but even then it'll be difficult to believe it.
Were you wanting me to acknowledge you as a sort of power control? To make it seem as though I was still into you, and that you were still desirable as ever? Nah. Yeah, I miss the sweet moments we shared in the past from time to time but that doesn't mean anything. I've changed and matured. I use to worry about running into you so I'd always dress up and made sure I looked the best so that you knew what you were missing out on but I'm over that now. As long as I've got a good paying job and an education that'll lead me somewhere I'm good if I look like shit.
I guess the question comes down to
1)Are you wanting to be friends again?
-If so why? Are you too scared to initiate so you're wanting me to or what?
2)Are you playing mind games to boost your ego?
3)Are you wanting a rebound? Cause I ain't doing any of that sheet.

All this mind game to see who still cares and who doesn't is honestly a struggle for power which I have no interest in. If you are trying to create issues or drama in my peaceful life then don't even bother coming near me because I will release everything I have pent up on you. I just want to focus on my career, my job, and my wonderful boyfriend. He is a sweet boy who puts up with my baggage and just wonderful. My friends are chill - even if most of them are trying to hook up with me and my relationship with my parents has improved greatly. I'm motivated and I will get what I desire. My feelings towards you has changed. You're no longer the person I once knew. You have an addiction to games, no plan of having a sustainable future, and you try to maintain a cool image. It's just so pretense. I wouldn't want to be tied to that. I'm happy with the way my life is. I'll do whatever it takes to be successful. I just wished you hadn't turned out this way.

Photoblog

So many tests coming up soon. Ugh. I hate this.
Now camera whore.

Overthinking.

Part of D2

Time passed and each one became wrapped up with their own affairs – avoiding each other as much as possible until last Saturday at Old Settler’s. I didn’t think I would see you there since I didn’t last year. Absent minded, I walked towards the direction you were in. I saw one of my friends, John, next to you. I didn’t want to create an awkward tension in the air. I didn’t want our eyes to meet. I quickly and silently waved to my friend and slipped away before anything could happen. Later on that night, John and his girlfriend found me and we talked for a bit. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed you approaching. I brushed it off and continued the conversation. Slowly, I noticed you casually coming closer and closer with a group of people until you were standing directly behind John so that there was no way I could miss your presence but I remained the same. You whooped, hollered, and laughed, loudly hitting someone on their back. I’m not deaf or blind. I knew you were there but I didn’t want to confront you or anything of the sort. I disregarded this event as an accidental run in.

Until I heard things that made me waver - last night’s run in was on purpose. Now, this piece of information isn’t reliable. I’ve heard things in the past about you still having a soft spot for me. I tried to act upon it, to rekindle but I ended up burnt so the idea that you wanted me to acknowledge you just didn’t seem logical. Why would you want me to acknowledge you? Weren’t you supposed to still hate me? Why would you want to be on friendly terms again, out of the blue too? Then came the breaking news, you and that Cretin were breaking up. So what? What’s that got to do with me? Unless you were lonely and looking for attention. 

- - -

Dear Who I Loved,

It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, unless you count the awkward glances we stole from across the stage back in August at Carthage.

I owe a lot of my success to you; from earning that scholarship to Japan as an ambassador - which was an attempt to distract myself from thinking of you, taking on various jobs to show you that I wasn’t afraid of change, attending night school for cosmetology while still in high school to have a skill to fall back on. I wasn’t afraid of change anymore. I was willing to do whatever it took to impress you, for you to be in awe of my achievements, and to regret for ever letting me go. My motivation was because of you. By taking chances I met a lot of great new people and experienced different things which allowed me to grow and mature.

It took a lot to regain myself though. I was depressed, attempted suicide many times, stayed out late, relied heavily on alcohol, and I used others. This wasn’t me. This was a monster who wanted your love, your attention, your care. I was dumb for thinking you would be concerned because in the end I was only tarnishing myself and my own future.

I was foolish for trying to impress you. Obviously if an honor roll student with a part time job who use to cook and take care of you while you were ill wasn’t enough then what made me think a successful woman would be desirable? How stupid of me. I was trying to win you back in all the wrong ways; materialistically.  

Time passed and each one became wrapped up with their own affairs – avoiding each other as much as possible until last Saturday at Old Settler’s. Later on in the night a friend of mine, John, found me and we talked for a bit. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed you approaching. I brushed it off and continued the conversation. Slowly, I noticed you casually coming closer and closer with a group of people until you were standing directly behind him so that there was no way I could miss your presence but I remained the same. You whooped, hollered, and laughed, loudly slapping someone on their back. I’m not deaf or blind. I knew you were there but I didn’t want to confront you or anything of the sort. I disregarded this event as an accidental run in.

Until I heard things that made me waver - last night’s run in was on purpose. Now, this piece of information isn’t reliable. I’ve heard things in the past about you still having a soft spot for me. I tried to act upon it, to rekindle but I ended up burnt so the idea that you wanted me to acknowledge you just didn’t seem logical. Why would you want me to acknowledge you? Weren’t you supposed to still hate me? Why would you want to be on friendly terms again, out of the blue too? Then came the breaking news, you and that Cretin were breaking up. So what? What’s that got to do with me? Unless you were lonely and looking for attention.

No.

I don’t want to deal with that shit. I don’t want to be tempted. If this had happened earlier, I would’ve been delighted. Simply delighted that I would profess my undying love and what not to prove how much I loved you but that’s not the case anymore. I really loved you, loved you with all my heart and I may fall back into the same pattern if allowed. I’ve changed though. I don’t want to tie myself with someone who has no ambition for their future

- - -

Linh Dieu Lam

Samantha Bell

Honors COMP I

09 September 2014

Dear Who I Loved,

It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, unless you count the awkward glances we stole from across the stage back in August at Carthage.

I owe a lot of my success to you; from earning that scholarship to Japan as an ambassador - which was an attempt to distract myself from thinking of you, taking on various jobs to show you that I wasn’t afraid of change, attending night school for cosmetology while still in high school to have a skill to fall back on. I wasn’t afraid of change anymore. I was willing to do whatever it took to impress you, for you to be in awe of my achievements, and to regret for ever letting me go. My motivation was because of you. By taking chances I met a lot of great new people and experienced different things which allowed me to grow and mature.

It took a lot to regain myself though. I was depressed, attempted suicide many times, stayed out late, relied heavily on alcohol, and I used others. This wasn’t me. This was a monster who wanted your love, your attention, your care. I was dumb for thinking you would be concerned because in the end I was only tarnishing myself and my own future.

I was foolish for trying to impress you. Obviously if an honor roll student with a part time job who use to cook and take care of you while you were ill wasn’t enough then what made me think a successful woman would be desirable? How stupid of me. I was trying to win you back in all the wrong ways; materialistically.  

Time passed and each one became wrapped up with their own affairs – avoiding each other as much as possible until last Saturday at Old Settler’s. Later on in the night a friend of mine, John, found me and we talked for a bit. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed you approaching. I brushed it off and continued the conversation. Slowly, I noticed you casually coming closer and closer with a group of people until you were standing directly behind him so that there was no way I could miss your presence but I remained the same. You whooped, hollered, and laughed, loudly slapping someone on their back. I’m not deaf or blind. I knew you were there but I didn’t want to confront you or anything of the sort. I disregarded this event as an accidental run in.

Until I heard things that made me waver - last night’s run in was on purpose. Why would you want me to acknowledge you? Weren’t you supposed to still hate me? Why would you want to be on friendly terms again, out of the blue too? Unless you were lonely and looking for attention since you and her broke up.

I don’t want to deal with this ordeal. I don’t want to be used or tempted. Knowing you, this may be a test to see where you stand in my heart. To see if I’m still in love with you so that you can feed your ego of being desirable. If you had tried to contact me earlier I would’ve been delighted. Simply delighted to the point I would profess my undying love and what not to prove my devotion but that’s not the case anymore. I’ve changed. I loved you, really loved you with all my heart and I may fall back into the same pattern if allowed but I don’t want to tie myself with someone who has no ambition for their future. You’re stilling egotistic, playing video games instead of getting a job, unmotivated about your academic status. You disappointed me, brushed your child and I aside for the sake of your own image.

I must thank you though, because of the things you put me through it encouraged me become a better person. You became my motivation. My desire to make you proud drove me to success, I hope in return you will grow and succeed as well. 

Functional Groups

Functional Groups

Chemical Group: Hydroxyl
Structure: -OH
Compound: Alcohols(specific names usually end in ol)
Properties:

• Polar
• Forms hydrogen bonds with water molecules, helping dissolve organic comounds

Carbonyl

>CO

Ketones:If the carbonyl group is within a carbon skeleton

Aldehydes: If the carbonyl group is at the end of the carbon skeleton

• May be structural isomers with different properties
• Also found in sugars

Carboxyl
-COOH
Carboxylic acids/organic acids

• Acts as an acid; can donate H+ bc of the covalent bond between O & H is so polar.
• Found in cells in the ionized form with a charge of 1- and called a carboxylate ion

Amino
-NH2
Amines

• Acts as base; can pick up an H+ from the surrounding solution(water, in living organisms)
• Found in cells in the ionized form with a charge of 1+

Sulfhydryl 
-SH
Thoils

• Two sulhydryl groups can react, forming a covalent bond. This "cross linking" helps stabilize protein structure
• Cross linking of cysteines in hair proteins maintains the hair structures; can be altered by perms and so on by the breaking and reforming the cross linking bonds.

Phosphate
(P)
Organic phosphates

• Contributes negative charge to the molecule
• Molecules containing phosphate groups have the potential to react with water, releasing energy.

Methyl
-CH3
Methylated compounds

• Addition of a methyl group affects the gene expression
• Arrangement of methyl groups in male and female sex hormones affects their shape and function