I honestly tried my best to avoid you so that there wouldn't be any awkward tension for others and you. Plus I didn't want to see you, see things that would irritate me, and over think unnecessary things. In the beginning when you were about 5 feet away and still in the middle of a group of people, I considered it a coincident since you had came with John and was probably just keeping close so you guys don't lose each other in the crowd or had some kind of plan afterwards but then I realized you were closer. You were standing directly behind John so that there was no way I could've missed your presence. You whooped, laughed, and loudly slapped Tony on the back. I guess a funny joke was being told. I shrugged it off and remained normal. I didn't want to bring attention to anyone or create a scene.
And then I heard that you actually wanted me to acknowledge you. Why? I thought you still disliked me so wouldn't that have made you felt uncomfortable? Or were you trying to feed your ego. Then again, I can't trust any source of information. One time I heard that you got upset when I was bad mouthed then I tried to rekindle. Backlash. You obviously did not want to have any contact with me, even stated that if I wanted to ask anything I should ask you instead of believing others. Whaaat? Total burn. so yeah. I won't believe anything unless it comes straight from your mouth but even then it'll be difficult to believe it.
Were you wanting me to acknowledge you as a sort of power control? To make it seem as though I was still into you, and that you were still desirable as ever? Nah. Yeah, I miss the sweet moments we shared in the past from time to time but that doesn't mean anything. I've changed and matured. I use to worry about running into you so I'd always dress up and made sure I looked the best so that you knew what you were missing out on but I'm over that now. As long as I've got a good paying job and an education that'll lead me somewhere I'm good if I look like shit.
I guess the question comes down to
1)Are you wanting to be friends again?
-If so why? Are you too scared to initiate so you're wanting me to or what?
2)Are you playing mind games to boost your ego?
3)Are you wanting a rebound? Cause I ain't doing any of that sheet.
All this mind game to see who still cares and who doesn't is honestly a struggle for power which I have no interest in. If you are trying to create issues or drama in my peaceful life then don't even bother coming near me because I will release everything I have pent up on you. I just want to focus on my career, my job, and my wonderful boyfriend. He is a sweet boy who puts up with my baggage and just wonderful. My friends are chill - even if most of them are trying to hook up with me and my relationship with my parents has improved greatly. I'm motivated and I will get what I desire. My feelings towards you has changed. You're no longer the person I once knew. You have an addiction to games, no plan of having a sustainable future, and you try to maintain a cool image. It's just so pretense. I wouldn't want to be tied to that. I'm happy with the way my life is. I'll do whatever it takes to be successful. I just wished you hadn't turned out this way.
