Do you read these entries because you care? Care about how I'm doing, what I'm thinking, how I feel? Or is it merely for entertainment because you're bored and curious as to whether I'm spiting you. I thought things were getting better and I started gaining hope. What a stupid girl. I can't change anything, my words and tears fall upon a heart that's not even there. My lips touch stone, my hands hold ice. You're keeping your distance, because you hate me. In a way, you do hate me. You resent me to a point that you're able to hurt me without concerns. You're able to occupy yourself to the point of forgetting. I understand your intentions, your thoughts, your actions. I respect it all but I will remain by your side. You may ignore, cut me off, act cold to your desire. I will remain by your side. Until one day this heart becomes callous to the point that it can't feel anymore. Until one day my time besides you runs dry. When that day comes we will both be free. Until that one day, I will remain by your side.
What were you thinking when you hugged me outside of Wal-Mart? In your room? Was it on impulse from your heart? Or pity from your mind? When we held hands in the movie theatre, were you happy? When I kissed you, did your heart melt? Did it mean nothing to you? Because it meant something to me.
Running on 3 hours of sleep as usual, it just sucks that I've been working 5 days straight so far and I haven't had enough sleep this whole weekend. I'll be working this whole weekend without a day off. Will it be lonely? I'm not sure yet. I'm gonna try and go shopping on black Friday if possible, but I work that day as well. I want to look pretty this weekend but will anyone look at me? Haha, funny shit. Things got messed up at work today, bleh. Seems like everything has been going wrong at work lately. Got a free bacon cheeseburger, cake, grilled cheese, and holiday shake today. Damn, it was like I hit the jackpot!
