Honesty.

These past two days I had been feeling guilty and down. There were a few times that I became so stressed and scared that I couldn't hold in the tears but my burden feels so much lighter after coming clean. I was afraid she would be upset and disappointed in me but she was understanding and calm about it all. She assured me that we're still friends no matter what happens. I'm able to stop stressing and smile for a bit. I had a heart to heart with Kylie and it opened my eyes and calmed my senses about the my choice. She offered in telling Mrs.V but the deed is over and done with. Maybe if I hadn't rushed and done impulsive things I wouldn't have had the courage to do what I'd done. There will always be guilt and I will have to learn on how to cope with it but I'll be given the chance to be a mother again someday, when I'm ready. I just have to keep my head up high and take care of myself. Stop crying, stop being sad, and live.

I learned that I won't have to stay in a hotel the whole time and that I'll have a home stay experience. I wonder who will pick me? Will I have to write a portfolio like the exchange students? Will I be able to go out and meet new teenagers like me? I hope I make lots of happy memories and friends. I can't wait to try out their huge hot-tub like bath tub. I wonder if we'll continue with the schedule with staying at the 5 star resorts for a few days or not? If we'll still go to shrines and onsens? I hope so!