I'm scared.

I've always feared death. From when I saw the twin towers fell on the television as a child, to sixth grade when I was emotionally distressed, to now: 8 days after the car accident. Late at night, or when things aren't hectic the thought slowly slinks into my mind. Sending chills downs my spine, my heart rate increases, and tears began to form. I thought maybe when school gets back in session, I'll be busy enough to forget it again but it doesn't seem to be enough. I don't want to run away anymore, I want to deal with it and not waste more of my life fearing it.

Maybe there is a god, but either way. When you die or pass away, your body rots underneath the ground and you're not even sure if you'll ever be able to process thoughts or emotions. Sure, people around you may remember you from time to time but soon even they will pass away and you'll be forgotten underneath the pile of dirt and maggot.

Maybe there is such thing as reincarnation but you won't remember your past dear ones, the precious memories, the magnificent things you've learned. Everything will just be a blank.

Some say to think of death as a beginning rather than an end but still. It's still an end to something. And I'm terrified. I know I still have many years left but still. I know what's at the end of the tunnel and I'm suppose to accept it but I'm petrified.