Are these your thoughts?

I don't love her. I don't want to love her. I don't want to live in this routine of love. What's the past is the past. Being with her is a routine that just pulls me down. I see her efforts but it's in vain and too late. She should've realized my worth. She should've loved me when she had the chance, shouldn't have pushed me down, shouldn't have become this. I'm sick of being mistreated. I'm sick of having her looking over my shoulder, controlling me. I can't go anywhere or do anything without her overreacting, without her being lonely, without her crying. I want to go out with friends, I want to dance, I want to find myself without restrictions. I want to bury anything that might still be left. I want to move on and start a new but she keeps pulling at me. Why can't she see that it's pointless? Why bother? I can't be the boy from the past, the one she fell in love with.