Sunday, November 11, 2012

Hope for the best, expect the worst.

I kept hanging onto hope, got battered and bruised in the process. As I scream and break down, he turns and walks the other way without looking back. If I could, I would erase our time together so I wouldn't be in this broken state. I was willing to change, willing to compromise but no. He's had enough and is kicking my ass to the curb. The once proud and independent girl is now shattered and groveling at the path he once tread. I'm pathetic. I should've ended it before things got serious, before I started investing into us. I only stress him, I do no good. I've never brought him happiness. I'm just a parasite.

I'm angry, upset, and hurt. Drove the whole way to work screaming and crying. I wanted to just break down then and there. Came into work with a tear stained face. Kim from 151st asked if we were still together and it was difficult  not to break down. I hung on for a month, just hoping that if I gave it my all, he would realize and sympathize. But he doesn't love me anymore. It's all dead and gone. Where has the love slipped to? Was I blind not to notice before? He sees me as a "bro", yet he doesn't even confide or communicate with me. There's no hope for us, even in the future. He's shattered everything I believed in. In the past I might've used others to forget it all but with him, I just keep thinking of him and how my whole world is in ruins and I'm left with a wound from the one I trusted the most. I'm angered. I gave him a chance to prove himself yet he won't allow me a chance to redeem myself. I've realized my mistakes yet I'm not allowed the chance to fix them. Angered that I'm in this dilemma. Angered at how he could just walk into my life and become a part of it then walk out as he pleases. Left without a word 

There's nothing else to do but pick myself up and walk away with the knife he left in my heart. Even if I don't know where I'm headed in this abyss I can't just sit in these ruins, crying, waiting for him to come back and extend his hand out to me because he won't ever come. I gave it my all and he rejected it all. 




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Anh ay khong con yeu minh nua. Sao con doi cho, mong nho, va yeu? Minh ngu ngoc, khong biet luc nao buong tay. Em cu yeu anh, cu mong la mot ngay anh se hieu tinh yeu em chao cho anh. Anh muon quen em, quen tinh yeu hai chung minh da chao cho nhau, quen thoi gian hai chung minh da quen nhau.