I'm not sure if I want to do it anymore. A bit hesitant and lazy plus it wouldn't matter that much to him. If only I had my own little group of girls. Why aren't you here Britney!? It would be okay even if it had to be a duet lol. All these thoughts and hopes but I don't know if I should even act upon it. Maybe I should just push it all aside! It's just foolishness in the end. Genetics is starting to become juuuust a bit more difficult. Sad face. Why must it!? Maybe I'm just distracted too much during class? Looked at myself in the mirror and I did not like seeing what I saw. UGH! Dietary goals: Must finish both my OJ and milk before I start eating, only allowed a snack during even block, only allowed raspberry water in the morning, and no eating after 7pm on weekdays/8pm on weekends, I can only order once from sonic a week and it has to be under $2. Must integrate more workouts into my lifestyle! The trip is in almost a month, must get ready! On the same note, I decided to look up foreign exchange programs and most of them are all high school! And I'm just like asjgk! The shortest is 6 months and it costs $9K. Damn. I'm not sure if I wanna become a JET member though because I'd have to get my teaching degree to be able to teach English before I could apply because you're basically applying for a job. I just wanna be able to live there for a year or so then come back! Blargh. It doesn't even have to be Japan! I'd be content with Korea or China as a matter of fact. Hanna's going to Korea for a year to live as well by herself. Fuhhhhck! I don't wanna get a teaching degree which might take who knows how long to go to a foreign country and live there for a year because I still have that medical degree which is my main focus. Thailand has one for 4 months around $2.5k but I don't wanna go because it'll remind me of him. I don't wanna live there without him. Sure, I'd visit it and explore but I don't want to live there by myself. On a new note, I colored my hair purple! I am officially reppin' black and purple. Yeah yeah, I know. Ambassadors are not allowed unnatural hair colors but the purple blends in with the black. I'm sure it'll fade before the next orientation meeting and if it doesn't, I'll dye it black but I'm crossing my fingers and hoping it doesn't come to that!
