Just a memory.

That will someday fade into the background. Memories of the happy times, they sting for me. Obviously they never occur for him. Everyone saw me as a horrible person, they only saw the bad times. They never knew the smiles I brought, the effort I put in. Driving to his house after work to spend half the night with him because I couldn't sleep over, cooking him food when he got sick, softly kissing him when he fell asleep in my arms, feeding each other, collecting snippets of recordings and photos for a scrapbook. They never saw my side of love. They never experienced nor knew of my love yet so quick to classify it. The bowl I made for him, the red symbolizing the blazing flames of affection but at the same time representing the love I had for him had bloomed so beautifully even though it took a while just like the time I invested into the bowl. Each petal was hand crafted and placed one by one upon the bowl. Carefully etched his full name into the bowl, I etched him into my heart. What to do.

Others don't know how much love consisted in the food she cooked for him, the happiness she felt with each hug, and the pain embedded in tears when she cried. So let's just fall in love with kittens and puppies for life, nobody judges your relationship and nobody butts in.

 I am getting so god damn lazy. I'm behind on two projects in English and I show up without completed assignments each day. Wtf is happening to me. Gah, I need to stop! I'm not even getting enough sleep each night. Gotta get motivated. Not doing shit in Web Design either. History - hell I haven't touched a thing. I swear, I'm possessed or somethin'. I just wanna let it all go and mindlessly sit or have my nose stuck in the book I'm currently reading for fun, Sky Bridge, and it opened my eyes a lot about the choice I made. A mother who runs away is someone who is scared, scared of responsibility, scared of getting hurt, and scared of getting attached. I was able to relate to Libby a lot because of how she felt stuck to fill in the motherhood when she was only an aunt and the desires of Tess when she didn't want to be a mother. I'm like a mash of them both. Been talking to my host sister for a while. Gonna be going to school in Amori, Japan. So excited! We have so much in common haha. I hope we'll get along well! I'll be getting to school by bus which takes 60 minutes - sad face. First time I'll be sleeping away from home by myself. Well, I better start doing my homework now. Ja ne!

 Bought a few chests to store valuables. 

 It's bigger than my face! *o*