I hated how you lost your temper. Hated that side of you. I hated how you chastise me when I was only trying to be humorous. I begun to fear you because of that reason, always raising your voice, clenching your teeth, and slamming the things around you. You said you'd never hit me but still, you were so different from the beginning. I should've never asked you to change. I was in the wrong and I deeply regret and apologize. That became one of the reasons that made me contemplate whether it was still safe to be with you anymore but there was something that held me back. Even after everything that happened I didn't hate you, I didn't regret all those happy times with you but after being treated this way it started to make me reconsider.
I don't believe I'm living in the past. It feels odd to have someone who once belong to you and you to them, not belong anymore. For them to belong to someone else, it feels strange and wrong. I'm not trying to get back with you. Sure, it would be nice if it came to that but I'll live without you. The way I've been treated makes me want to hate you but inside there's still a part somewhere that can't bring myself to hate you. Sometimes I just wanna lay down and let everything slowly disperse and fade into the horizon.
Got teased by Kay and Ravon, saying that Ryan and I had a thing going on which is totally false but I couldn't help but blush because I noticed that he mainly talks to me than the other carhops. He came back up after his shift , which he complained about, to get food, how ironic I guess? Not really. Stayed out until 4:00am on Saturday night because I didn't wanna go home, surprisingly I didn't get in trouble. Parents actually didn't say a word and just thought I was sick because I was sniffling which I really couldn't help plus when I was driving home it was raining. I'm guessing this means I can stay out later? And possibly spend the night ahaha. Went to the temple on Sunday morning for service since my shift got switched to night. The lion dance was actually pretty good this year, talked to Donny for a while. Apparently they thought I was a new member for the youth community LOL. Sayin' that I was a bad girl for hella skippin' Viet class. Didn't get to talk to Tony or Daniel that much since they had to get ready for the dance. Thinking about joining Viet class with Tony when I visit. Got asked by two guys to be their Valentines and I'm just like "uh" since I have work on that day lolol. I dunno, maybe I'll have time? Friedo Potato wanted to head out to Applebees and I'm not sure what he wanted to do afterwards. I kinda want to go to his house and play with his husky haha. Sounds a bit odd that I'd wanna go to a guy's house to play with his dog? Got scheduled to work at 10:00am on Saturday even though I told him I could only work after 1:00pm since I had a Japanese meeting! Plus, we're having a get together afterwards haha. Which reminds me, I need to start packing! I'm not sure what kind of gifts I should get my host family. I wonder if my portfolio got passed around the students' hands like they do here, LOL. Unsure if I need to get another suitcase? Unsure on what I've chosen. The textiles class, I took it to be a better wife later on and now I'm just like dafuq? I mean it's fun but it's consuming and just so-so. I took it so I could patch, sew, and make things for him later on but now I'm just kinda like..I could just go buy whatever shit I need instead of spending hours sewing. Culinary classes? Same purpose. God damn. Haha, Books on love stories don't intrigue me as they did in the past. It's the same thing over and over again. I prefer reading things on hardships and life lessons. How odd.
.jpg)
Sometimes I wonder if I should just smash this.
Tình đầu nào không tránh câu chia ly. Vội vàng rồi cũng đi thật mau. Miệng cười mà tim buốt đau từng cơn khi ngày xưa, con tim em đã trao lầm cho anh.
Nghẹn ngào hôm nay khóc cho hôm qua. Dòng lệ còn đang ước mi người đi. Giận lòng em sao đã yêu vu vơ tin về anh, con tim mệt nhoài trong đêm.
Ngày nào anh đã nói anh yêu em trọn đời anh chỉ yêu mình em. Để lòng em luôn tin về anh, anh càng cố dối em thật nhiều. Bởi đôi môi anh quá ngọt ngào. Vậy mà lâu nay đâu hay yêu người dối gian.
Một mình trong đêm vắng em lang thang tìm về những kỷ niệm ngày xưa. Người còn đâu nữa chỉ mình em đêm về giữa phố quen ngày nào. Lỗi do em đây quá thật thà, hay là do anh không thuỷ chung. hỡi người yêu hỡi , em vẫn lầm tin anh.
