Sometimes you wait too long that things disappear and change.
The more I get to know him, the more turn off I become. He does not possess the traits of the desired lover. He appears as a boy who needs to be sheltered and cared for rather than be able to protect and provide.
As each day goes by, the deeper he goes into the friend zone. Why put me into a group chat if he does not talk to me and I end up talking to others? No more video chatting with me one on one. Basically, the chemistry is dying. Saying sorry whenever he thinks he fucked up, okay that's nice but that won't make me stop being upset. I don't tell him when I am bothered by something rather I just brush it off and not dwell on it because I don't want to make the same mistake of always being angry but the lack of attention is getting to me. Eh, he shouldn't get his hopes up for prom night or put too much effort into it because I will not accept his proposal. I don't want to be his girlfriend. I am not on 'reserve' for anyone. I come and go as I please, as a human being attached to no one. I sound like a bitch but it's better to not string anything along. After prom is over I will cut off contact since I do not want to make things awkward at the dance. Sigh.
Went out with Tommy for our sushi night. Daniel came along and they both got lost getting to my house heh and we got lost trying to find Haru's since he didn't go the way I usually do. You know how there's individual plates/bowls and then there's the big bowl for the main item that's in it? Well he took a piece of octopus and gave it to me. I thought it was pretty sweet and I can't tell if I should see that as anything special or if he's just the type of older brother/guardian type of friend? He was pretty nice and funny through the whole night. Wouldn't let me look at the bill and paid for my part which I felt bad on. When he dropped me off he was apologizing for being late since he got lost, and not being able to hang out longer heh. How sweet. I don't think he likes me though? I can't really tell if he's just a really nice guy or if he has a slight crush on me? Eh, boys are weird.
Needed to get rid of storage on my camera so I posted up old photos and I have all these guys hoppin' on my ass asking if I'm back together with my ex. Haha, how funneh. Some are so quick about hooking up too. Heh, no thanks. There's only one guy I wanna bang but afterwards I'm leaving his broken heart but he actually wants a relationship. God I sound like a bitch who doesn't know what she wants haha. Anyways, apparently my parents heard gossip go down at the Asian Market about my ex and I and honestly I'm just like fuck it. Old news, what's new? Dad be throwing a bitch fit about me going out with Tommy and mother threatening me to not fall in love again. Sigh, you don't think after Corey I would be tuckered out? Bleh.
