Had a slight headache in Japanese yesterday, thought it would go away once I got home and took Advil but it grew worse during rehearsal. I started getting hot and cold flashes. Had to suck it up until 5:00PM. Met up with Jae for ice cream at peach wave for a while. Came home and collapsed on my bed, not bothering to change out of my school clothes and slept until 8, went back to sleep and got woken up by Ami around 10. She said that I got kicked didn't I, and I was like wtf? And she's like he kicked your ass to the curb so that's why you have a fever huh and I'm like wtf no, we're only friends. Fell back asleep and stayed asleep afterwards. I'm surprised I stayed asleep cause I would think my sleeping schedule would be a bit jacked up? Didn't want to miss the fashion show so I pulled myself outta bed and went to school. Did my part on the fashion show and now I'm home with make-up and sitting at my desk, not wanting to do math homework and fall asleep hehe. Yesterday was the first time I've ever just gone home, not touch my homework and fall asleep. Mmm, felt somewhat nice but also irritating because I like to complete my stuff or I feel like bothered. Talking about the brain and the function of memories which reminded me of myself. There's a lot of people who want to learn how to remember better or forget things and surprisingly I did both subconsciously conscious. The memories I created with him in the past, somehow my brain labeled them as important and I had easy access to them that at times it seemed like I was reliving them, which at times are a good thing and other times it just brings pain. Eventually I wanted to block them all out, It was difficult at first but I was able to block it out. Each time something would resurface I would distract myself with another thought or think of something unpleasant so that now when I try to remember something it just comes up blank. Odd heh? I guess at times out of nowhere a memory would pop up and I would be like wtf? But like a movie scene it comes and goes and I don't remember any of it afterwards. Details of the memories began to fall apart and the emotional connection disappears. I'm deriving different meanings from the same memory which makes it less secure and easier to forget. What I want to know in the end is, did I really forget it all or am I just blocking the memories? One day will they all come rushing back at me with all the emotions experienced then?
