It's not me who you're missing, who's on your mind late at night. You don't think back to the past unless provoked. You're not testing me to see if I'll go, secretly wanting me to stay. You don't see things that remind you of me nor do you want to share them with me. You're perfectly fine, not hiding away because you're afraid of more pain. You're not waiting for me to make the first move. If you ever are sadden, it's because of something or someone else right? It'll never be because of me again. There's this constant desire to know, but the raw truth without filters and hidden motives. All this is because of some unknown event in your life that has nothing to do with me right? Or because of a girl who you've fallen deeply in love with right? All of these gloomy thoughts and emotions are because of her, right? I still missed you, I still loved you so much that I bought things while in Japan that I thought you would like. I figured you would most likely trash them so I didn't bother. I came over to your house on holidays because it felt odd and lonely not celebrating it with you. Obviously you were never there for some reason. Some of your relatives remembered me, some were confused as to why I'm still around and some didn't even remember me which is fine. I don't want to go through a cycle of pain either, I don't want to show up at places hoping to be able to associate only to feel like an odd ball, I don't want to be pitied and looked down upon. I want to be wanted, cherish, and loved and I'm willing to do the same in return. I'm happy with how things are going in my life. There are times when I'll sense traces of our past or of you but what can I do but look away? I'm working as usual, concentrating on school, and enrolling into cosmetology school to obtain my license by next summer. I'm not sure how I feel about the past or if I want to return, there's a mixture of both but I don't know if you can open your arms to me again.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
More wonders.
Yeah yeah, I'm posting a lot of entries tonight probably because I have a lot of unanswered questions.
It's not me who you're missing, who's on your mind late at night. You don't think back to the past unless provoked. You're not testing me to see if I'll go, secretly wanting me to stay. You don't see things that remind you of me nor do you want to share them with me. You're perfectly fine, not hiding away because you're afraid of more pain. You're not waiting for me to make the first move. If you ever are sadden, it's because of something or someone else right? It'll never be because of me again. There's this constant desire to know, but the raw truth without filters and hidden motives. All this is because of some unknown event in your life that has nothing to do with me right? Or because of a girl who you've fallen deeply in love with right? All of these gloomy thoughts and emotions are because of her, right? I still missed you, I still loved you so much that I bought things while in Japan that I thought you would like. I figured you would most likely trash them so I didn't bother. I came over to your house on holidays because it felt odd and lonely not celebrating it with you. Obviously you were never there for some reason. Some of your relatives remembered me, some were confused as to why I'm still around and some didn't even remember me which is fine. I don't want to go through a cycle of pain either, I don't want to show up at places hoping to be able to associate only to feel like an odd ball, I don't want to be pitied and looked down upon. I want to be wanted, cherish, and loved and I'm willing to do the same in return. I'm happy with how things are going in my life. There are times when I'll sense traces of our past or of you but what can I do but look away? I'm working as usual, concentrating on school, and enrolling into cosmetology school to obtain my license by next summer. I'm not sure how I feel about the past or if I want to return, there's a mixture of both but I don't know if you can open your arms to me again.
It's not me who you're missing, who's on your mind late at night. You don't think back to the past unless provoked. You're not testing me to see if I'll go, secretly wanting me to stay. You don't see things that remind you of me nor do you want to share them with me. You're perfectly fine, not hiding away because you're afraid of more pain. You're not waiting for me to make the first move. If you ever are sadden, it's because of something or someone else right? It'll never be because of me again. There's this constant desire to know, but the raw truth without filters and hidden motives. All this is because of some unknown event in your life that has nothing to do with me right? Or because of a girl who you've fallen deeply in love with right? All of these gloomy thoughts and emotions are because of her, right? I still missed you, I still loved you so much that I bought things while in Japan that I thought you would like. I figured you would most likely trash them so I didn't bother. I came over to your house on holidays because it felt odd and lonely not celebrating it with you. Obviously you were never there for some reason. Some of your relatives remembered me, some were confused as to why I'm still around and some didn't even remember me which is fine. I don't want to go through a cycle of pain either, I don't want to show up at places hoping to be able to associate only to feel like an odd ball, I don't want to be pitied and looked down upon. I want to be wanted, cherish, and loved and I'm willing to do the same in return. I'm happy with how things are going in my life. There are times when I'll sense traces of our past or of you but what can I do but look away? I'm working as usual, concentrating on school, and enrolling into cosmetology school to obtain my license by next summer. I'm not sure how I feel about the past or if I want to return, there's a mixture of both but I don't know if you can open your arms to me again.
