Before, I never really cared about being feminine. I wore what I liked and got lost in books but ever since him I wanted to be a girl he could be proud of. Working on my cooking skills, to perfect dishes and pastries for him. Practicing my sewing and knitting, just any maternal or feminine skills. I just wanted to be a good wife/mother in the future for him. It was pretty silly huh. But hey with all the skills I've acquired because of my desire to please him, I've raised my worth in other people's eyes as well! Being multilingual, hard working, and friendly wins many brownie points in other adults' eyes and they seem to genuinely like me. Yay. Had a dream of him a couple of days ago. Nothing big but I dreamt that I was on FB and somehow he was on my newsfeed? His status was blank yet he had roughly 126 likes. I was like, wtf? But I also felt kind of empty. Werrrd.
Went on a crazy yarn spree tonight, realized that I could've gotten the same yarn from Wal-Mart instead of Hobby Lobby for cheaper. Wtf. Gah. Going to Wal-Mart tomorrow to get some more yarn even though I already have 8 rolls of yarn already. Don't think I'll go back this summer since parents are forcing me, think I'll just focus on nail school with Jas. Plus, if I get my surgery and come back for school I won't be able to study the books or deal with the chemicals and powder.
Cried a bit while reading this because it relates to me so well. I'm still at the stage where my heart is locked away in selfishness, unwilling to give anyone my heart.
Volcanic mask that I tried out. Apparently it's suppose to be only for your nose area to get rid of zitz, whiteheads, ect but to my dismay when i peeled it off there was nothing. No fun in ripping it off if you don't see any gunk!
Think I'm going to stop using the v-line product. It's making my face/jawline shorter, not digging the new look! In the process of knitting two scarves.
