Not sure why I had to have two of those dreams in a row involving him. I can't quite remember it but in the first one he had platinum blonde hair with a funky style: big black shirts and black pants. Somewhat of a black gangster without the ghettoness. Weird. Apparently he had been watching me from a far all this time and he just couldn't forget me. He even watched me when I was out with other people. Weeeeeird and slightly creepy. He was begging me to get back together, not sure why? He was all like oh, I still love you, please let's get back together. Honestly, I was super shocked and happy but deep down I felt pretty lost. First off, why? Second, I can't because I'm already being treated well so what if I return to him and things just fall apart again? I don't want to hurt anyone. In the second dream, I was moving to this area that was under construction and it was all fancy with a strong sense of community. For some reason I was sledding on a cardboard box with someone else across a railroad track? I don't even know. But he was in it for a brief moment. Why am I having these odd type of dreams? It's outrageous that would never in a million years cross neither of our minds. Why am I even still concerned with being on his family's good side? To make things short and simple, it's pretty much sucking up but what for? I have no reason and I'm sure they don't want to hear from me either deep down since it's most likely awkward for them.
Not sure why I have such a soft spot for him. It's been so long and so many of the memories I thought I could never forget - I've pretty much forgotten to the point that I mistake memories with different guys together. It's embarrassing sometimes heh.
On the topic of boys. I have no problem hanging out and talking to guys but when they try to force me to make time for them it gets me irritated. I suck ball sacks when it comes to messaging and texting. Please, don't expect to hit me up on FB or text and have a huge conversation come out of it. I am a lazy poop who will reply with one word messages on fb and I will take hours if not days to respond to texts especially if we're not close. Making plans to hang out - don't make it too close to the future or too far in the distant. My schedule is pretty jammed pack. 53 hours of school on weekdays and then my weekends filled with work from morning to night. I have no life and pretty much no social life. I just want to finish school as fast as possible so I can work more, but also have a day for resting. Truthfully, I don't want to go out. I want to work as much as possible, further my education, and obtain what I desire. I guess in a way I'm motivated to prove him wrong. For him to see what he's missing out on and that I've become a better person than I was back then, that I'm actually something to be proud of and desired. Another reason why I've become a shopaholic haha. I guess what I'm getting at is if someone wants to hang, I'd prefer to hang out for a couple of hours for one activity - not the whole evening and please don't try to force it because I'm not interested in getting with anyone. This isn't directed to any of my buds either, it's just some guys who try hard to hang out and get all mopey when I decline because I'm busy. They say they just wanna hang but they be throwin' compliments at me like bread crumbs to a flock of Canadian geese. o _ e;
Tiring day of work and going out with family afterwards.
