On my one day off, I received an early phone call regarding an interview. Got up, got all primped up and ready. Came in did the interview, came back later in the day to take a drug test and fill out some paper work as well. Returned the kid's late book and their late fees as well. Did a little shopping, came back in time to pick the kids up. Took Andi to her Mathematics Regional Competition and Alex to Kenpo practice. Finished up my interview and picked the kids up. Allowed them to play around on the play ground then got their face painted later on that night when we went to go visit the boyfriend. Went for a second round of Chipotle later on that night with Mama and Ami. Didn't have much time in the day to do any laundry or tidy up. Sigh.
Today was an alright day. Met up with counselor, such a sweet woman. Discussed what actions I should take with trig. Still unsure what to do. Met with a financial aid as well and she only told me information but no help on what actions I should take.
Got a notification that he was at school which threw me off. He doesn't go there, I didn't see him any other times so why would he be there? My heart kept racing and my knees were weak. Why I was I being like this? Why was I afraid to see him? I belonged here, I go to school here. I am my own self. It took me a while to reason and calm myself down. Then it was whatevs. By chance when I went back to student center at the end of the day to talk to the FA person we crossed paths. It seemed like he stumbled a bit at first and hid behind the other person..? I'm not sure why he would do that. I saved the trouble and tension for both of us and took another path to avoid eye contact. I've noticed, that when I go soft and forgiving - I am insecure and sensitive. It's only when I replace my fear, my insecurity with anger that I become confident. Weird huh?
