Gradually, I feel my love for him growing- beating inside my chest, fluttering with happiness and warmth but then the next day it gets killed by the cold. I try to communicate, to show my affection and appreciation but he suddenly becomes occupied. Taking 3 hours for a single response then 2 hours later another response. That really kills the mood when I've waited all day for him to get off to talk, when I've sent over a dozen snaps while he was away so he would have something to laugh at when he got off, when I try to be loving and it's met with a 3 hour delay of a short bland text. It really sucks. It's not the first time nor will it be the last. It seems as though it be best if I just stop being caring but that always results in a conflict. What to do?
He said in the past he'll try not to be closed off and be more affectionate and tending. I try to be understanding as well when he comes home tired and wants to sleep early or does things with others but where is my time? It's starting to feel as though I'm not even in a relationship anymore, no connection/communication, no growth. It's stagnating, declining, dying.
It sucks when you waste your days waiting for someone, hoping for quality time only to be left alone without notice. When you have all this love and attention for someone special only for it to be neglected and decay. Each time my love blooms a bit, I squeal in excitement - eager to show him only to be dishearten each time. My flower dies before I could reach him because there's a cold wind that nips my love to death and when he glances upon the dried, wilted plant and my distress he is puzzled and annoyed by what appears to be an overdramatized emotion and minor death. Over and over, my progress is undermined, overlooked, and reverted. It's tiring and I feel like killing the plant instead of tending to it - because each time it will die, my heart will ache, and he will not care. It's an endless cycle.
