If I don't like or favor a particular person I keep my trap shut. They may be an ignorant, classless cretin with parents who have no mannerisms but I don't voice my emotions. This is America and I will act accordingly. In a foreign land I had to humiliate myself and bow but not anymore. If I don't like you, I regard you as a dead person. I will not dance in anger and spout profanity because it is no use spitting on dirt because it'll never be clean. You are less than a stranger. You are not family to me, you are a parasite - always harmful and benefit off others. A cocky, bastard who had a few lifetime of fortune to land someone like her. I will not cox her to associate with others nor will I implant any ill ideas in her mind but I will stay away else I blow my top and spew unfortunate words upon the distasteful likes of you.
You may call this "airing dirty laundry" but I call this bringing injustice to the light.
You are forcing me to appease, humiliate myself for a stranger who you are more accepting of than your own flesh and blood who toils endless nights studying while working so that maybe one day she'll achieve greatness to stand before you. He is an outsider, what does he achieve for you or the fact that he's simply a Vietnamese male liquidate everything else?
I have tried to befriend him but once he insults me without any sign of guilt in his conscious, I will not attempt anything else. I will have a "smug" face as much as I want, I will not greet or say a word to him as I desire for he is not worthy of my attention. I will act as I desire, whether I want to speak or not is my human right. Would you rather I become violent and irradical? Or perhaps I slip a word to the authorities? I am being as civil as possible but the more you push an animal into a corner, in the end it will fight and kill.
Like you said, I have done nothing for this family. Without me, you guys would still be in Vietnam enjoying the simple life. My effort of being the perfect, Asian daughter meant nothing. Being quiet, polite, and studious means nothing. I should've known. Without no mentor and a language barrier, educators still doted on me and I continued to push myself academically without any encouragement or motivation besides the desire of your approval.
Lately I've been thinking of how much I cherish my parents but with the way things are going I can't kept but want to escape from this toxicity that is suffocating. Who threatens their daughter with violence for not liking someone? Who threatens to throw them out for that? What kind of mother throws away her daughter for a pretentious son-in-law? I hate him, I hate how self righteous my mother claims to be. I want to escape this chamber of constraint.
I am not scared of my mother or sister seeing this because these are the forbidden words and emotions I am denied to utter. I am mute and powerless in this place I called home.
