Whirlwind of buzzing emotions.

So it finally happened. I had been thinking about us lately as well, wondering what direction we were headed in. I never thought you were ahead of me. I thought about it, but there was always a part of me that didn't want to give you up even though it seemed like we were in a rut. I wasn't ready that's for sure. Perhaps it'll do good for the both of us. There's this numbing, twisted knot in my stomach. I can't tell if it's my emotions or the alcohol haha. I think I did better coping this time around. I was rash and didn't cry too much nor have any irrational thoughts. The drinks definitely calmed down my nerves for a bit. I'm still unable to sleep though. Hopefully I can make it to work tomorrow. I have a lot on my mind but I'm unsure how to dissect it.