To some I am resilient and distinct, to others I am fragile and pure.
What am I really? A mixture of both. I am determined to succeed, to rise above the debris and dust. Behind the confidence is fear though, unspoken doubts, and loneliness.
Woke up a bit earlier than usual from the jet lag but still later than yesterday. Hopped outta bed and got ready for my first day of work since I've returned. I was pretty nervous since I was afraid I'd forgotten stuff which is silly since I'm a workaholic, memorizing prices with and without taxes, and dreaming of working hehe. Brought some snacks for everybody to try, well the morning people got to try since they were there first. Work was slow as poop but tips picked up towards the end of the night. Work is a stress reliever for me but also a source of stress, how odd huh? Bought myself over +$30 on hair accessories, impulsive buying again. Naughty naughty me! I'm gonna get scolded by parents once it arrives. Oh wells! Still waiting to get paid from the other 2 paychecks, getting a bit impatient! Missing out on over +$200 here! I swear, the internet makes me binge shop to the max! I'm such a loyal customer with Amazon it's sad. I should probably apply for a premium membership teehee. Debating with myself again, gotta stop lying to myself. He doesn't care, doesn't matter how I'm doing, and he's happy with her even if it's on the DL with outsiders. Eh, it's whatevs. I'm happy! If it's meant to be then maybe in a year or maybe a few decades we'll meet again, if not then it wasn't meant to be. Parents are wanting me to focus on my studies, after I turn 18 and graduate then they'll choose who I marry. No worries about falling in love and the details. No stress, woot, plus Ami's tying the knot soon.
Courage does not mean absence of fear but the willingness to triumph.
