My stupid ass had to be nosy - after all this time I've been cautious by steering clear - and I click on a link resulting in something that upset me. I should've known! Just didn't think that I'd still be affected by it. All this pain and anger came rushing back. First was fear, then sorrow as tears kept falling. Anger quickly dominated and I just wanted to scream and unleash pain upon something. All the shit I've been through because of them, I let it be forgotten. I let the past's happiness blind me for a moment. It blinded me of the times when I cowered in fear that he would hit me, it blinded me of the fate he forced me into, it blinded me of the torture I experienced. I may be petty but I will never forgive them. Corey Kitivoravong, for the lies and irresponsibility; Sharon Lee and Kayla Bui, for the manipulation, rumors, and betrayal; Nikhat Noorani, for joining in on the bitching and lies. There are many others who "side" up with them and distance themselves from me even though I treat them with kindness and we had been friends long before they knew of him and them. I'm just angry at why so many people jump on the bandwagon and point their fingers at me while he does no wrong. I have been through hell and back, I treat you with kindness and I do not mention any matters of him so why do you all dislike me so much? I've lost so many acquaintances and friends but it's okay in a way. Karma will get them back for me in some way, it doesn't have to be anything major. Something like their battery dying in the middle of the highway is fine. As for the names I mentioned, I wish for them to go through much more pain than I did. I want them to feel the isolation and helplessness I did, to feel the emotional, mental, physical turmoil of having to losing your child, and I want them to seek repentance from me. In the mean time, there is no need for me to cry and be upset again. I've been spent months end doing that. It's time to be happy again because it's my life and I deserve it. No need to hide from love nor rush in and pretend it's something it's not. Guess what I'm saying is that I'm not going to force myself to wait until college to be in a relationship. If I happen to bump into the one and we walk the same path then so be it. It's something I'd prefer but if Cupid happens to strike the right one, I will not run in the opposite direction.
Smiling because I deserve to, actually it's because I look like shit when I cry LOL.
