I think back to the stupid arguments, the goals and hopes we both had for our trip to Vietnam, and how we'd take Chinese together but rewind the clock; past the time when you left me broken and shattered, past our butterfly stage, and before we had gotten together. Past the time when Jason and I were an item, before the time John gave me that necklace with you cheering in the backseat. Back to when we first met each other, you on the floor with the hat and a green, black jacket. Both shy and hesitant. What if I never spoke to you after that night? What if I had gotten together with John or Jason instead? Would I have experienced less pain? Would I still be with them or would it have been a sort lived fling? Reminiscing to the past to who I thought you were, one who actually accepted my flaws and whose arms would shield me from whatever it could. Who knew the person I trusted the most would be the one who stabbed me? Who would be the one spreading lies and acid while the arms are still around my waist. Pondering back, there are times when I feel as though I lost someone who treated me the best but then I think to the fact that he abandoned me and tarnished my reputation. I didn't lose someone who was the best thing that happened to me, I lost the best times I had with that person. Things happen for a reason, and I'm not ready to set myself back in that position. Maybe in time I won't be as scared to open the doors once again.
It appears as though he's losing interest, or maybe it's from both parties? There's less interaction, and each communication session is not as deep as they use to be. They hold little value, bleak and blunt. Maybe the wait is over?
