Not sure why but I've been feeling pretty irritated with guys today, mostly with guys who have a thing for me. I'm not sure but everything they do, or don't do just irks me. With other random guys who don't expect anything from me and I don't expect anything from them, it's pretty chill cause I'm whatever with them but with the others it's like crap, I gotta be considerate of everything and I'm just feeling suffocated by it. Probably because I expect more attention and spoiling, bad habit of mine. But there's also the flashbacks. I see the eagerness behind their actions to please me. It reminds me of how my ex tried so hard to please me in the past and that just kinda cracks me and makes me soften up a bit on them. Maybe it's a side effect of just getting off my period? I dunno but it's annoying.
Brought my diary to school as a way to motivate myself to write in it since it's been neglected besides my bed stand. Was able to write a good sizable chunk in it and I would think so since I tossed and turned in bed all night with so many things on my mind. Took a deep breath and started breathing in and out which calmed my senses and I was soon able to relax and fall into a slumber. It's getting so cold and I'm always so sleepy that I haven't been putting any effort into my appearance..been wearing sweats and tracks, sometimes even forgo the action of putting on a bra. So glad that I'm small enough to pass off not wearing a bra keke.
