Tantrum.

There's nothing to eat at home and there's nothing out that I go buy and eat. My diet has consisted of rice porridge and water since Monday morning. I have to take 12 pills a day for the medication yet I hardly eat anything and work. Now rice porridge is out and I haven't had anything since 9:00AM, a small bowl of rice porridge. I worked a 6 hour shift and drank water through out the whole day. I only eat two meals a day consisting of rice porridge to survive and now there's none left.It's not that I don't know how to cook but I can't cook food I'll be able to eat and everybody has already ate and doesn't care. I can't swallow food or liquids without it hurting and I'm hungry. I hardly ate anything within' this week yet still working. I'm tired, lightheaded, and hungry and there's nothing to eat so I'm sitting lying in my bed sobbing because I'm really hungry, tired, and frustrated. I want to eat, and I realized from the photos I just took that my lips swell when I cry from hungry. I'm mad and hungry. I'm gonna take some more pills and sleep because I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat.

Fever.

Been having a fever of around 101.3~101.8 since Monday morning. It always appeared that I would be better around mid-afternoon but by evening my fever would resurface again. On Tuesday morning around 11AM when I had to come downstairs to take my medicine and eat I would experience vision change. My mom would be handing me advil to take but my eyes would blacken out and I wouldn't be able to see so I had to feel around for a while. It happened more than once but each time was pretty quick, the longest lasted around 2 minutes. Went to the doctor's and he said it might be either mono or strep so they had to swab me to get lab results. It came back negative so he wasn't able to diagnose me with anything, gave me antibiotics just in case. Cobe came over to see how I was doing and later on Michelle had called me to see how I was doing and he picked up and miscommunications arose and she thought that we were in bed, together. No, that's a big no no. My fever started coming back around 10:00PM and I fell asleep around 10:30PM. Woke up around 7:00AM this morning and I wasn't able to fall back asleep until 9:00AM something. Went back to sleep around and had to get up around 11:00AM. Went downstairs and ate porridge. Took mini naps until 4:00PMish since I kept getting headaches whenever I was awake. Feeling a lot better today but I'm not sure if I'm able to go back to work tomorrow because of my canker sores and I'm not sure if I'm entirely better.

Part Time?

I think I have commitment issues now. With him, it's somewhat exclusive but I don't want to be called girlfriend or call him my boyfriend. It's so, complicated? Meh, it feels like our connection is not as strong as before. You could say, a bit distant? I feel like he doesn't like me as much and we're slowly becoming just homies. We are just friends though. Best friends with a thing? 

“I don’t even want a boyfriend. I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, and thinks I’m best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me.”

Woke up with a fever around noon. Pulled myself outta bed and went downstairs for some mien. Cobe came over later on with gummies which made me pretty happy. Not sure why I was craving em. Watched some more Swordsman.

Chills.

Rolled outta bed around 10:00AM. I felt pretty normal at work and my back didn't ache like the other day. We got slammed at 2:02PM for happy hour with at least 15 orders at once and it stopped at 3:55PM. We didn't slow down or have any miniature rushes. It just kept going and going. Alex picked me up after work and we headed to Wal-Mart to buy the dye. Had a difficult time picking out the right shade only to have it end up not showing. We either chose a shade too dark or we didn't leave it in long enough heh. Oh well, I'll redye his hair again in about 2 to 3 months so his hair has time to recover. His hair is more reddish and more of a tint rather than seeking into his follicles or maybe it was just his roots that got penetrated instead of the whole follicle. He dropped me off at AMC30. Michelle, Megan, and I watched Despicable Me 2 and I gotta say it's a pretty awesome movie even though I haven't seen the first one yet! I cried at the part where Lily was leaving for Australia and Gru kept moping and fearing rejection. I still say my favorite part was at the end when the minion sang I swear. I literally spazzed out! You can't go wrong with the BSB and N'sync! We picked up Kayla afterward and went for ice cream at Sheridans. I was pretty pooped out by the end after the movies. I'm not sure if it was because I'm on my period but I keep having these chills and it feels like all my energy is being drained from my finger tips and so on and just disappearing to somewhere and I keep feeling cold. It sucks. Maybe I'm about to catch a cold? So exhausted. Don't wanna talk or what not. Feel like passing out.

Borghese Mud.

Woke up around 9:00AM to get ready for work. I felt so ick and laid in bed for around 10 minutes. Got up and realized, phokuh. I've started my period. How wonderful. Stepped into a mini rush when I got in. Guzzled more coffee, hehe. My back ached so much, not sure if it was because of my period? Before 2:00PM, Tim sent me home like 4 hours early and I was like woah but meh, I'm glad to be able to relax! Just kind of down about the cut from my hours. Brought 2 bags of ice since the ice maker broke for some reason? I still love sonic ice regardless. Found out that my Burghese Fango Mud arrived in the mail! I rushed to wash my face and try it out.

Price: $40

Rating: 4/5

I gotta say, the reviews were correct! It instantly has this tingling, cool sensation and when I wash it off my skin feels softer and looks whiter! Although the statement about it lasting a year for some people is totally off for me. I feel like I'll use it all within' 6 months hehe. It's pretty expensive but it's a good investment, especially since it's 17.6 oz! The only thing I dislike is how when I received it, the plastic seal or whatnot was broken and it looked like it had been used so that's the only reason why I'm giving it a 4/5 but otherwise it's awesome.

Merp. I think it's the hormones but at the moment I want somebody I could call hubby and be all cute with. Like cuddle, hold hands, and be all "oh, I'll be thinking of you while I slumber baby boo." Like those extremely cheesy, sweet things but I don't wanna get deep. I don't wanna be realistic and shit even though I know a relationship consists of reality after the butterfly stage. Ugh. Stupid hormones. I should just have a guy friend who I could flirt and sweet talk with and pretend that some day we'll run away and elope in Vegas. ( - _ - )*

After Independence.

Had work at 9:20AM. Guhhh. So pooped. Getting hooked on coffee lately. Been guzzling it down every day and the amount keeps on increasing. Drank 30oz of coffee and 10oz of lemonade. Usually I stay away from caffeine and I dunno, diet green tea hasn't been cutting it for me. Maybe I need to start eating something light with my green tea? Meh but I hardly have any time. Been pretty out of it at work and my energy just seems sapped up that I can't really focus. Sigh, is it because my mind is subconsciously distracted by someone or maybe I just keep a break to refreshen and unwind for a couple of days from work?