Ate Culver's ice cream for breakfast since there was nothing to eat and I didn't wanna cook anything. Gave myself a simple manicure with small flowers since I'm not allowed polish at work. Felt like putting some effort into my appearance so I changed into a dress with short shorts. Curled my hair and camerawhored a bit. Went out for sushi with Alex at Haru's. Gossiped a bit and had him eat a gum ball size of wasabi on a piece of salmon avocado roll. His reaction was so funneh haha. Afterwards he invited me to go play volleyball with his family and he said it was just a while so I was like meh, sure why not since it'll only be a bit. Ended up lasting for 3 hours and I got a lot of bugs swamping me. They were all really nice to me and I sucked so bad at volleyball, it's only until the end of the game that I started serving the ball right. I felt more at ease playing with Samorah and gossiping, how silly huh? She asked if I was his girlfriend which I thought was pretty cute. His dad came later and we talked a bit, he asked if Alex and I were dating which turned kind of awkward. Did everyone suspect that we were dating? Because Alex introduced me as a friend and nothing else and we didn't do anything that might've given off the wrong vibe. Later on he told me that he thinks his parents like me because they kept asking if we were dating and stuff since I was dressed nice and I'm like nah. I didn't even know we were gonna play volleyball! I just wanted to feel pretty for a day.
After "playing" volleyball, I just kinda stood around and swatted bugs.
Woke up feeling pretty laggy. Ate soup for breakfast. Had an urge for some sweets so I walked to Walgreens around 1:30PM. Oh muh gawd it was so hot and sunny. I probably got a shade darker. Bought soft drinks, gummy candy, and half a gallon of ice cream along with sugar cones. I feel like I should've gotten the regular cones because you can't put as much ice cream as you can with these ones. I can't tell if I've gained weight or loss. My legs and calves are bigger and firm but my face has gotten pointer and slimmer. Sometimes my face is will be resting on my hand or I'll be laying on my face and it'll hurt from my bone structure. Wtf, who knew having a slim face had pain? I lack a lot of fat in my face and cheeks since a year ago but sometimes I'm able to get a double chin. So weird!? Sigh. Michelle and Megan wants me to come with them to CO for the last week of July and spend time with em in their family guest cabin while her parents stay in the main one. It sounds really fun but I doubt I can come! Sad face. Still can't decide between a new car and Japan either.
The bandaide the nurse stuck on my butt a few days ago. xD
I've realized. I'm starting to photoblog my days instead of blog. I'm turning into a major lazy butt! o _ o
I can't help but only remember the smiles but then I'll be reminded of the arguments, the electric atmosphere. I don't think I could see him again, much less with anyone. I already try to avoid anything that deals with him online so I don't have to see anything that might trigger something.
Babysat the whole day yesterday. Dad took my car into the shop for repairs and tune ups. I dunno, I'm still scared to drive on the highway with my car. Felt really fatigue and tired around 2:00PM so I took a nap until 4:15PMish when Jae called me to let me know he was coming over. Hang around, watched episode 23 of Swordsman. Went to McDonalds and fed my cravings for chicken nuggets hehe. Called Megan up and caught the 8:10 showing of The Conjuring. There was tight security to get in and there was a cop standing by the entrance the whole time. Not sure why? It creeped me out even more. The movie was really good but I couldn't stand the scary parts with the faces because I knew I'd get nightmares so I just shut my eyes at those parts haha. Went to Sylas and Maddy's for some ice cream and goofed off. When I got home, Ami told me that she had saw him at the movies when she went. How odd..? I'm kinda glad I didn't catch him, it makes things easier.
[ Can't do this on my own I need someone for when im alone could you just pick up the phone and tell me when you'll be home] Đã quá lâu rùi tay tui, khong được dắt tay ai theo It's been so long since I've been able to hold anyone's hand Đi đâu cũng chi một mình, không khác gì cây hoa héo Everywhere I go I go alone, like a decaying flower Xuân, hạ, thu, đông trôi qua Spring, summer, autumn, winter flows by Mùa nào cũng không ai theo Every season I'm alone Không phải tui không cố gắng mà vấn đề trước giờ cua gái toàn fail It's not that I don't try but that I fail each time Cua e A e A bị khùng Lady A is crazy Cua e B e chê tui lùn Lady B complains that I'm short Cua e C e đòi xế khủng Lady C wants a luxury car Cua e D e khinh nghèo túng Lady D complains I'm poor Cua e nào cũng thế hỏi thăm không thấy sớm tối đều bị hỏi cung
Every girl I go after just evaluates what I have Thế nên tui FA, không dám quen lung tung
therefore I'm FA and don't dare to hook around Bao nhiêu, bao nhiêu năm trôi tình, tình vẫn thế thôi
So many years of affection flows by are just blah Ai ngang qua rồi cũng bước vội
Everybody I cross paths with just leave in the end Thế nên tui ế, thế nên ê chề, thế nên tui bị bỏ bê
Therefore I'm single, being dumped each time Thế nên vào các dịp lễ chỉ mình tui lái xe trên đường về Tui không phải là bad boy, mặt mũi tui cũng không quá xấu
I'm not a bad boy, my face isn't that ugly Tuy tui không phải con nhà giàu nhưng mà tui sống biết phấn đấu
I'm not from a rich family but I know how to live comfortabley Vì người tui yêu tui sắn sàng làm mọi cách lo đủ họ ngày sau
Because with the person I love, I'm willing to do anything for them to live happily Nhưng vẫn đề ở đây là : Người iu ơi e đang ở đâu ?
But I'm still here waiting: Honey, where are you? [……………] Nhiều khi tui thích người ta nhưng người ta lại không thích tui
Many times when I like someone but they don't like me Không phải lỗi tại tui mà do có quá nhiều thằng theo đuổi
It's not that it's my fault but that I have too many competitors Vì một ngày số người tán tỉnh họ trên Facebook lên đến cả trăm
And on facebook they have so many admirers Nên tui muốn được người ta reply nói chuyện phải chờ cả năm
And I want them to reply back and talk with them year on Lễ tình nhân thì họ có nhân tình
Hook ups have each other Còn tui ở nhà ôm máy tính
While I'm alone at home on the computer Khi trai gái họ đang làm tình thì tui lại ngồi đánh liên minh
When a boy and girl are making love I'm on LOL Không phải là tui không kiên định tìm người iu cho riêng mình
It's not that I don't try but I want to find someone for myself Khổ nổi trước giờ tui iu phải ai thì chẳng bao giờ đc yên bình Muốn tìm một người dịu dàng : Nhưng k thấy đâu
I wanna find a gentle person: but I can't find Muốn iu nhầm người đàng hoàng : nhưng chẳng thấy nhau
I wanna love a good person: but we don't find each other Thường gái đẹp thì nó chảnh
Pretty girls are full of themselves Nói nhiều quá thì nó đánh nhưng muốn cua được thì phải ràng canh
If I talk too much then she'll get full of herself but if I wanna woo her than I gotta compete Vì im lặng quá thì thằng khác giành
Because if I stay silent she'll be won by someone else Dù tui cố gắng cách mấy hai từ may mắn vẫn không lung lay
No matter how hard I try it just doesn't have any effect Đêm về vấn một tiết mục bất hữu vẫn ngì một mình quay tay
Every night I come home to a swirling hand(masterbation) Rảnh rỗi bạn rủ cà kê, toàn đực rựa rủ cà phê Và quanh năm năm nào cũng thế nên quanh năm năm nào cũng ế [………….] Oh, tui không đòi hỏi cao
My standards aren't all that high Không cần phải giống như Hà hồ
It's not like I'm asking for Ha Ho(celebrity) Tui quen ai cũng được, miễn sao không phải là ma cô
Anyone is fine as long as they're not a monster Tui muốn có bồ, tui muốn năm stay, tui muốn hẹn hò
I want a partner, I want to stay together forever, I wanna date Hẹn nguyên cả ngày nhưng muốn hoài mà chẳng được
Wanting a date but not able to get one Thế mới cay ! How bitter! Meh, too lazy to translate some of the parts and help define.
I think back to the stupid arguments, the goals and hopes we both had for our trip to Vietnam, and how we'd take Chinese together but rewind the clock; past the time when you left me broken and shattered, past our butterfly stage, and before we had gotten together. Past the time when Jason and I were an item, before the time John gave me that necklace with you cheering in the backseat. Back to when we first met each other, you on the floor with the hat and a green, black jacket. Both shy and hesitant. What if I never spoke to you after that night? What if I had gotten together with John or Jason instead? Would I have experienced less pain? Would I still be with them or would it have been a sort lived fling? Reminiscing to the past to who I thought you were, one who actually accepted my flaws and whose arms would shield me from whatever it could. Who knew the person I trusted the most would be the one who stabbed me? Who would be the one spreading lies and acid while the arms are still around my waist. Pondering back, there are times when I feel as though I lost someone who treated me the best but then I think to the fact that he abandoned me and tarnished my reputation. I didn't lose someone who was the best thing that happened to me, I lost the best times I had with that person. Things happen for a reason, and I'm not ready to set myself back in that position. Maybe in time I won't be as scared to open the doors once again.
It appears as though he's losing interest, or maybe it's from both parties? There's less interaction, and each communication session is not as deep as they use to be. They hold little value, bleak and blunt. Maybe the wait is over?
Maybe it's mother nature, maybe it's me, who knows? I tend to reflect on the past and no matter how many times I may visit where he once reside, there's a coldness where warmth once was. The longer I stay around, the more it'll hurt and the more pain killers I down to keep the pain at bay. It washes across like the waves of the ocean on a brisk autumn. Memories, the past's present that kills and supports the future. Cleaned the chicken and made mash potatoes this morning. Andi helped with the peeling because she really wanted some mash potatoes hehe. Nothing new really happened today except for cooking and sketching up some projects aaaand camerawhored in the bathroom for a bit. I've noticed, I look better bare face without make up than with make up on. How odd eh. Posting up some photos from when I went blueberry picking as well from last week.
Been pretty icky these days so I haven't updated much. Apparently I did have strep and mono but nobody from the cultural clinic contacted me to let me know. Oh yay! I felt pretty weak when they had to draw blood and they weren't even able to find a vein in both of my arms. They had to try twice on my left arm to find anything. They said,"her veins are nonexistence" because of hydration. I felt pretty weak after they took my blood that I thought, "Crap, I think I'm gonna pass out and look so dumb!" Started getting the chills really bad and shaking hard. They took me off the penicillin since it didn't seem to work and took me off the pain killers, which I'm still gonna take because it hurts and it feels funny. They have me on cefuroxime, which was what they gave me in the butt for the first day, and prednisone. The first day I came back to work on my medication, Ashley said asked if my eyes were okay and said that I seemed so stoned out of my mind haha. Called into work around 7:00AM this morning, and turned in my doctor's note again. Michelle seemed terrified to come near me ahaha. I don't blame here after being sick for so long only to find out that I'm still sick. Oh yeah. They also gave me a shot in the butt. Yay! And not even an hour later Ami smacks me right on my shot area while I was lying on my stomach. Fun, fun. Went to renew the registration, so happy that my wait was only around 30 minutes unlike two years ago which was around 2~3 hours. I can taste my medicine when I burp or whatnot and ugh, it taste and smells horrid but at least my piss doesn't smell old and moldy like fungus. I've been feeling a lot better since the butt shot but I still have really weak spells and my throat isn't back to normal yet. On a side note, with all the days off it seems I'm finally experiencing what summer is suppose to be like. Lay around, sleep in, and be irritated at home. It seems as though the more I watch an Asian drama and I know how it's gonna end or something's bad gonna happen I'm like oh heo nah and I don't wanna continue watching it because well, it sucks and I don't wanna see it happen! Even in movies it appears as though after sometime, the love that was once in the guy's eyes just dies out and everything you've given done for him and everything he's done to pursue you just fades and it's not what it use to be. I forgot the saying I had concluded to earlier but it was pretty sentimental because I related to it too and it happens all too often in life.
I swear, as I get older it seems as though I start to look younger like the clock of time is reversing for me!
TMI
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TASTELESS PR0N
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WILL SCAR YOUR EYES
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BEWARE IF YOU SCROLL DOWN ANYMORE.
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YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
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Jk, I have enough modesty to hide my sweet, little, teardrop buttocks.
